Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
mkymkm 0
cocks are funny whatever age you are :)
pogostick_fml 2
I don't understand how your life is ****** by this.
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Comments (82)
badbunny 0
OH NO YOU LAUGH AT A PENIS SHAPED OBJECY, FYL INDEED, YOU HAD SUCH A BAD DAY. go away.
ActionManly 11
Wow, 'cause other people totally give a shit if you laugh at something FUNNY.
CallMeHush 1
I'd laugh at pud shaped chips too, then feed them to the nearest girl and laugh again because not only did she swallow she asked for more. (;
waterynuggets 0
Lol IRL Wonder how long til this one has its comments deactivated. Wondering why I'm wondering? BECAUSE I SAID SO.
QTp13 10
Thanks, that's exactly what they needed to hear!
YayAmerica 0
I'm not complaining about the FML, but I think moderating the COMMENTS so seriously is taking away most of the fun and silliness of this site.
YayAmerica 0
It's true that "Not an FML" is rude and redundant. A lot of people, based on similar comments to a few of these seem to think that "Is too an FML" is also a bit redundant, though.
LilaBear 2
"I'm a guy and I'm immature. FML" Get over it. Pretty sure most guys would find that funny.
LilaBear 2
wow, Alan's a little egotistic today. "BECAUSE I SAID SO." People like that shouldn't be given power. And btw if you're sick of comments taht say "Not an FML", perhaps you should stop allowing lame FMLs through. I agree with quoteXunquote. "**** my life" suggests something happened that really screwed up their day, at the very least. Realising you're a bit immature hasn't screwed up your day, pretty sure most 33 year old guys would happily admit to being immature.
LilaBear 2
And you can't seriously be concerned about those comments hurting ppls feelings, coz you happily allow comments that are thoroughly abusive with people swearing their heads off at others. So don't give us ridiculous excuses like "we modded your comment coz you disagreed with its FML-ness and it might hurt someone's feelings" when you don't mod the truley abusive comments.