Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
mkymkm 0
cocks are funny whatever age you are :)
pogostick_fml 2
I don't understand how your life is ****** by this.
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Comments (82)
Batman4890 0
then go bak 2 MLIA we dont want u here
joeski 0
No need to be nasty, I'm just saying. I still like to come here occasionally, just not as often as I did a year ago. I'm not saying "OMGZZZ MLIA IS SO AWESOME FML SUUUUUUCKS", I'm just trying to give the moderators advice so that they don't lose a lot of readers.
HookEmTexas07 0
lol @ how quotexunquote doesn't come back once the mods call her out for being a bitch.
Mulada 0
Dude, it's an FYL if someone caught you doing it and called you a man-child. >_>
oboo15161 0
this is not an fml....
averagexbecca 0
#58 - This site doesn't need we the readers' annoying whiny comments from people who hate it. Besides, if one post is bad, just move on, because its not the end of the world. If you have a problem with the whole site, then stfu and just leave instead of putting yourself through the horror of reading ten seconds worth of material that wasn't up to YOUR standards. Personally, I enjoyed the post. ^^
weddingbelle 0
So many posts now should not be considered FML. How do they not get moderated??
SeventhFonons 0
Penises are funny 8D
DeadMansCrack 4
....
DeadMansCrack 4
58 accurately spoke for a large number of people, including me. Except, I don't think every FML needs to be a terrible, devastating event (disease, injuries,etc.) but a lot of FMLs are like "Today, I realized I still enjoy Dora the Explorer. I'm 30". Posts like these aren't FMLs in the least. I'm not saying that it's not funny-because it is to some people-but it's simply not a "**** my life" event, which is what this site is for..