Today, I pulled out three chips from a bag. There were two round ones, and a skinny one, making it look like a penis. I laughed. I'm 33. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was eating chips with my father. After I finished eating a chip I felt something between my teeth, It was pubic hair. I soon realized my dad was scratching his testicles while eating chips. FML
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
Today, I ripped my old, worn underwear while trying to pick a wedgie in public. Half ended up in my hand. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML
Today, I realized that potato chips are made from potatoes. I'm 26. FML
Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML
Today, I was eating a packet of chips while watching TV. I saw a crumb on the table in front of me, so without thinking I picked it up and ate it. It wasn't a crumb. It was a tick. FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with a girl I like, and as I was getting my wallet out, I dropped a condom. She didn't see anything, and I didn't dare pick it up in case I drew attention to the "object". The waiter walked past, picked up, and held it out to me with a huge grin. FML
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Top comments
mkymkm 0
cocks are funny whatever age you are :)
pogostick_fml 2
I don't understand how your life is ****** by this.
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Comments (82)
darkmis1 18
This belongs on MLIA.
Batman4890 0
wow #69 thats constructive...
ErikvonDarkmoor 0
GTFO
gigi2009 0
and being 33 matters how??? it was funny. you laughed. that's good. big deal? no.
wafflemonger 0
Don't beat yourself up. Penises are funny, no matter your age.
jts2 3
#58 is a moron. Since when do you decide the opinion of the entire crowd-- And, what this site was made for? #59 and #66 win some respect.
wh4t3v3R 0
Can't you redirect him to Love My Life? That's where this belongs. Penises; HAHA, awesome!
jazziegirlslc 0
hahaha. who wouldn't laugh. (:
drkwlf 0
I believe #58 was speaking for a LOT of people, actually (: Stop sucking up to the moderators, thx.
Batman4890 0
#58 there shud be a "go **** off and die" website for ***** like u if u read the comments we all enjoyed this fml weather its a fml or not who gives a ****?
joeski 0
FML's like these are the reason that a lot of people I know have stopped going on this website and have switched to reading MLIA. To me (and a lot of my friends), FML is no longer entertaining. I miss the old Fmylife.com.