Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was babysitting a little boy for the first time. He kept using all sorts of profanity toward me the whole evening, so I told his mom when she picked him up. She just grunted and muttered, "Fucking cunt-ass snitch." FML
Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, I was driving my eight year-old son to school when a guy cut me off, prompting me to yell "Douche bag!" as a reflex out of the window. Realizing my mistake, I turned to my son and told him to never, ever talk like that. His response was, "Too late, douche bag." FML
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my toddler learned the phrase “Shut up.” He now loudly says it to anyone who speaks to him, including our elderly neighbor, whose only crime was complimenting him on his shoes. FML
Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML
Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
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Top comments
marmlr339 14
Smack that child!!
The_Earth 0
something similar to this happened with my son, Pluto, he cursed at me. so i brought him so far away from our home for doing such things and hitting my wife, his mom. why do you think he's so cold and far away and has been downgraded by humans?
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Comments (373)
Masenko7 12
ownd big time
singaman96 0
owch..... that burns!!!!!! but seriously. take him aside and talk to him, or ground him if you need to... my sister wrote **** on a piece of paper, and she got helll.... it worked, though. so. FYL
The_Earth 0
something similar to this happened with my son, Pluto, he cursed at me. so i brought him so far away from our home for doing such things and hitting my wife, his mom. why do you think he's so cold and far away and has been downgraded by humans?
mr_mccarthy 0
LOL
denvan 0
lol wow earth that was harsh
ruby84 1
hahahahhahaa I love you
Icyyy 0
Lmfao. xD
Icyyy 0
._. I just saw my comment and thought 'that bitch stole my profile pic'. And then saw my username. FML
Just_Me_143 0
osirisfrost 0
you named your son Pluto? are you retarded?
osirisfrost 0
sorry drunk. nvm
VivaLaCobra22 0
wait...I thought you were MOTHER Earth!
HahaHokayThen 10
hahaha! (:
TiffanyBlews27 0
Well, just tell him that it's unaccetable, and explain that the word is a "bad word" that he shouldn't say. Worked for me (until I hit middle school), and it works for my little brother. It's not much of a problem. :)
Icyyy 0
The only thing here that's unacceptable is your spelling >_>'
kotomi 0
the kid prolly heard his talking to his mom that way monkey see monkey do..or.. like father like son
JillianlikesVogu 0
I ******* love your son!
edenclaire 0
oh, children :)
snowboarder25 0
fylll op
tamie306 5
they grow up so fast don't they?
IsBitchBetter 1
Hoping it's not a church run daycare ....
CallMeHush 1
... and make me a sammich!