Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Today, I passed the girl I like a note asking her out, signed Mark H. She picked it up, read it, turned around and asked me, "Do you know who Mark H. is?" FML
Today, at school, a cute girl kept glancing up at me, giggling, and looking away as soon as I looked at her. So naturally I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She said she didn't like me, she was just laughing at how big a zit was on my forehead. FML
Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said, "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML
Today, I was chatting with the cute new receptionist at the gym. I told her that I would be going there more if she was there. She looked me up and down and said that I should go regardless. FML
Today, at the Y, someone told me I had a cute ass. I liked that until I realized: a) a woman said it; b) I'm a woman; c) I'm straight; d) it's my first compliment in 2 years even though I'm 25; and e) I'm so in need of positive attention I ran after this woman to ask for a date. Me desperate much? FML
Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML
Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman who sits at the desk beside me looks over and says, "Wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant, and I saw my friend. When we made eye contact, I made a creepy face at her and twitched my arms to make her laugh. A woman looked over said sadly, "Oh my God, that poor girl!" She thought I was "special." FML
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Top comments
Soloman212 28
Maybe she was actually hitting on you and she's very paranoid about STDs.
jayennachristine 23
Maybe she's giving you a heads up if you go after her?
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Comments (54)
Vlen_fml 20
bleh. could be worse. you could have a cute girl suddenly sit at your table and chat you up for 10-15 minutes before she starts trying to sell you magazine subscriptions. Joke's on her, i couldn't afford them.
EyRaB 17
She lured you in with her beauty .. a stellar marketing tactic !
nelliegw 26
You should have made a deal with her; if your test comes back negative, then you get to take her out on a date
Witchylady 18
It's always a good thing to be educated
mousieee_fml 4
Well at least she thinks you're someone people would sleep with?
just_dorky_me 22
Maybe it just meant that it looks like you get laid a lot because you're so hot.
CandyApple88 13
Standard for people who are handing out stuff. Take it as a sign that you look hot enough to get laid.
aseim9497 18
Nah she was probably just trying to appear nice so you'd allow her to talk with you.
coraline123c 23
I'm pretty sure she has to hand out those flyers to everyone, not just you op
Rebles 15
Sorry for being rude but: No shit sherlock.