Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
Today, I found out that we're supposed to get 3 feet of snow, and the person who plows our driveway is out of town. We're stranded on a huge hill. FML
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I was in a huge traffic jam with my boyfriend due to heavy snowfall. After being in the car for 4 hours, we were stuck in a tunnel with hundreds of cars behind and in front of us. Then the diarrhea hit. I had to shit in a plastic bag in the car. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. Now it's melting. FML
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Top comments
FeedMonkeyking 4
Headphones never occures to you?
krushr 3
Steal their lube.
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Comments (153)
FeedMonkeyking 4
Headphones never occures to you?
TayonaC 10
still just knowing about what they are doing is life altering :( FYL
TayonaC 10
I mean they. my bad
josephhhhhh 0
lol awesome! is ur mom a Milf OP?
josephhhhhh 0
lol awesome! is ur mom a Milf OP?
vodkaliciouz 4
exactly my first thought too. at least that what i'd do, blasting music in my earphones while do some stuff that would take my mind off.
ImanAzol 4
Apparently to her father, yes.
Lennsik 4
@44, really man? I don't think any daughter should think about their Mom being a MILF.
alex1432 9
iPod and weed do wonders
meowmeowwkitty 0
if this girls/guys never smoked... they might freak themselves out in their room by themselves, just a thought
twitch851 9
dude just play video games while they get their game on. that's what I do when my parents do it. u should b thankful your parents still love each other.
emodude44 0
Whenever I heard my parents doing it, I turned on my headphones. Or... you could run in during and ask "Hey Mom did you see my... OH MY GOD!" just to ruin the moment
NDiesal10 2
Headphones and either a movie, TV, video game, or online videos.
brainsoverbeauty 21
Wow. At least your parents are doing great. If that's any consolation? On second thought, I'm sorry, I don't think there's any consolation.
J_Bizness 0
I just wanted to say that you are very cute!
kateeeh 0
ok pimp (#40) this is FML....NOT a dating site, so chill
bthomas0319 2
NICE RACK!
bthomas0319 2
YOU HAVE A WEDDING RING ON YOUR FINGER!
ZachMitch1994 0
stfu bieber has no right to talk hahah
C6Racer 0
Agreed, 67.
KyleIsSoFine 0
I agree with 40. 67, you horndog -_- Asdfghjklimsobrd.
hachi8 0
yea, no consolation at all for that one. lls
skate4shekla 0
Honestly I agree with your first part. Its not nice to have parents that dont like eachother :(
McMan 23
Images? You planning on watching?! O.o
tigerlily33212 0
haha ikr! creeper!
chippa 24
"...mental images..."
McMan 23
I'm pretty sure it said "images" by itself earlier.
McMan 23
Actually it did, I asked a moderator.
ashtonTS 0
definitely said mental images retard...
sassypants93 17
88- Moderators can change the post. You just made a fool of yourself.
bossybella 0
Darn... Loud TV, or blast your earphones?
krushr 3
Steal their lube.
royalt313 0
^bahah win
attatood 8
That would make the screams louder! But really... that's crappy.
mariazzz 5
LMAO
Hanimon 0
I feel sorry for ya, but there's lots of ways to prevent yourself from hearing them.
mddaily21 0
hey Hannah. what's up
Doortje 30
Eww. Thanks OP, now I'm having mental images too.
therealdavid 0
ik! THANKS OP:P
Jagzy 0
Brave the snow!!! It's much safer for your mental well being
ubetrwatchBN 5
Unfortunately, the mental image is already there. May I suggest a combination of alcohol and a long trek in the snow? Vodka seems appropriate.
Joshua3109 0
hey
TayonaC 10
ugh that's gross, creepy, yet oddly enough also funny. I'm gonna tell my friend that tomorrow! :)
Krystal1029 0
Play very loud music :) but yeah sucks for yooou!