Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
Today, I found out that we're supposed to get 3 feet of snow, and the person who plows our driveway is out of town. We're stranded on a huge hill. FML
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I was in a huge traffic jam with my boyfriend due to heavy snowfall. After being in the car for 4 hours, we were stuck in a tunnel with hundreds of cars behind and in front of us. Then the diarrhea hit. I had to shit in a plastic bag in the car. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. Now it's melting. FML
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Top comments
FeedMonkeyking 4
Headphones never occures to you?
krushr 3
Steal their lube.
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Comments (153)
inarticulating 0
oh jesus, i'm so sorry.
samisabeezy 0
that's just wonderful. :)
Iloveyou4 0
Your life sucks !
itSzMarCus 0
yeah u Cute u Betta off wit the brains lol
marmots 0
when that happens, I go to narnia... stay there for a few days... weeks.
Bananya_oh 0
LMAO brilliants^^^ :D
Bananya_oh 0
#93 Best solution ever!!!
borso86 0
Thats gold
KyleIsSoFine 0
I don't get it -_____-
briidontgive_ 0
Ew I hate wen u can hear parental sex. My house walls are incredibly thin nd I've suffered :( sorry op fyl!
massagenist 0
it always starts out as ohh ahh let's try that. but then later theres farting, screaming, moaning.
bamboozer 0
WTF just enjoy the sounds; it may help you decide later if you ever want to try it.
Shadow_Phantom 26
I'm pretty sure there are some people in this world that don't even want to THINK about what it would be like to have something shoved up their... backdoor.