Today, I overheard my parents in the kitchen talking about how they wanted to try anal tonight. There is over three and a half feet of snow outside, leaving me no way to escape the horrible sounds and mental images yet to come. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
Today, I found out that we're supposed to get 3 feet of snow, and the person who plows our driveway is out of town. We're stranded on a huge hill. FML
Today, my parents told me that they've been having a contest to see who could punish me the most this week. So far, my mom is in the lead by kicking me out of the car near railroad tracks, and making me walk the 4 miles home in the freezing rain. FML
Today, I walked in on my parents having sex. In my room. FML
Today, I was in a huge traffic jam with my boyfriend due to heavy snowfall. After being in the car for 4 hours, we were stuck in a tunnel with hundreds of cars behind and in front of us. Then the diarrhea hit. I had to shit in a plastic bag in the car. FML
Today, I heard my parents having sex. It wouldn't have been so bad if we weren't in the same hotel room. They thought I was asleep. FML
Today, while in my room on the computer, I had a sudden urge to pee. I got up to use the loo and started hearing some disturbing noises from inside. Apparently I was so quiet my parents thought I was gone and decided to have sex in the shower. It's been an hour and my bladder is about to burst. FML
Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. Now it's melting. FML
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Top comments
FeedMonkeyking 4
Headphones never occures to you?
krushr 3
Steal their lube.
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Comments (153)
DRIEAM 0
I am your father.
unhappybitch 8
Wow that sucks
4evermossin 0
If I were you I'd get a ****** snow mobile
sixfoot2 0
lmao!! that's hell of funny!
FreakoHolm 6
Hahaha win
sixfoot2 0
wow that's soooo disgusting!
alice490 0
thats so nasty and messed up on so many levels
ImanAzol 4
Yes, we old people never have sex. Does it shock you to know that my 42 year old wife *****, sucks, swallows and takes it up the ass, eats pussy, uses a vibrator and has been DPed on occasion?
hahayousucks 3
... ******* weirdo. I don't care what your wife does does. btw I already know this cuz I was doing her while you were at work!
purple_sarah88 0
Yes older people have sex, no not everyone wants to know about something that should be private!
mrjude 3
#62 - I have a feeling that, since he (possibly she) said the wife has been DP'd, saying this won't really offend him (or her) too much.
fishycanswim 0
Well 59, that was really necessary?
KarmaBotch 0
#113 well it's deffinatly a she, unless he is infact a she in that case it's a shim or a whoa-MAN!? because "IT's" wife eats pussy..
dantheman101 0
hey, don't knock it till you try it. Wait, what?
ChelsBearr 0
oh jeez.
shaaayyee 0
images...? I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were planning on WATCHING it.
RiskiBusiness 1
mental images...
fylnotmine89 1
lol well is your mom hott? if so tell your dad to scoot over and let me in there! lol
vvvvvwwwww11 0
That's creepy... But be open mind lol