Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I discovered that every time my period ends, I queef loudly and uncontrollably. I’m literally too embarrassed to see a doctor about this. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
Today, my therapist farted three times during the same session. FML
Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Kurby14 21
Time to look for some brain bleach
captainsmegma 12
Queefing, your vag's way of saying "bring me more dick"!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (49)
Omglifeishard 4
"Mom where is the bleach?" " I need to bleach my brain"
cheshireau 26
Please forgive my ignorance but how else can the ****** expel the air that goes in? It's essentially a Fanny Fart.
Muttley9 13
If you were delivered vaginally, perhaps your own delivery stretched out her birth canal causing the problem noted. As for the actual act its self, my eldest step sister compared it to "******** a bowling ball."
InfiniteSunshine 32
It doesn't work like that, the ****** always goes back go it's original state, even after birth. It's just made of muscles, equivalent to the ones that control your mouth. When you smile or stretch your mouth, it goes back to normal, and it works the same for the ******.
gohaz933 9
Call your therapist and tell him he is a rich man.
cho_bee 9
You need a bottle of Jack, or a blunt; perhaps both. I need to run to the bathroon before I pee my pants...
Roll_a_D20 7
This app sucks all the good comments are majority disliked and all the bad ones are liked WAY too much and frankly most of the people on this app are freaking idiots
Roll_a_D20 7
this app is stupid the good comments are downvoted the bad ones are invited and most of the people that use it are idiots