Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that every time my period ends, I queef loudly and uncontrollably. I’m literally too embarrassed to see a doctor about this. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
Today, my therapist farted three times during the same session. FML
Today, my hubby thought he made me queef during sex. I was too embarrassed ro tell him it was a fart I was holding in, but couldn’t once I orgsmed. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthy conversation, my girlfriend mentioned, "And he always farts during sex." FML
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
Today, I overheard my mother talking to her friend, and using me as an example of how it's sometimes best to swallow. FML
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Top comments
Kurby14 21
Time to look for some brain bleach
captainsmegma 12
Queefing, your vag's way of saying "bring me more dick"!
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Comments (49)
Kurby14 21
Time to look for some brain bleach
h00tzForOsi 20
And someone mentioned children not having a filter on another post but moms take that shit to the next level. Lol
DaniealThePope 18
When you have to queef, you have to queef. It's a natural body function
LyricaSilvan 30
True, but that doesn't mean anyone wants to hear their mom talking about her vag.
tomvertigo 17
True. People always get freaked out if they hear their parents get busy, too, and meanwhile I'm just impressed my old assed dad can still get mom to break him off a piece. Get over it, OP - you're mom has probably heard you talk about shit that made her uneasy, too!
DaniealThePope 18
I guess it's the same about guys talking about their Bodley functions.
Weasely 11
Um.. it's not really a bodily "function". It's a result of some action that causes air to get into the ******. I've never had to randomly just queef.
thestoryofacaleb 14
I think your mom's the one who needs a therapist. But fyl
Tripartita 45
"I just keep queefing and can't stop." "Uhhh, ma'am, you know I'm a therapist, right?"
thestoryofacaleb 14
Anyone who complains about their queefing problems to their friends needs some social therapy.
fakedsincerity 32
i know, right? being open and honest and trusting your friends with personal problems is so bad it requires therapy. give me a break.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Um, isn't that sort of what friends are for a lot of the time? Having people that you're close to and comfortable with, enough to be open and honest with them with no judgement, even about sometimes weird and awkward topics. That's the type of friendships I strive to have, supportive and comfortable, I can talk to my friends about anything.
WCARlover 35
She should probably see a doctor about that...but if you hadn't noticed and only knew because you heard her talking about it,I imagine they can't be that loud, so there's something in your favor, OP.
lulinator 40
Do you know what queefing is?
lilchica22001 22
You poor thing! You need a hug, your favorite food and a day on the couch watching movies. You will recover!
allie2590 31
No, op needs a blunt.
Scotth901 22
Goddamn straight
Magnoxidans 19
I think that is a sign it is time to move out!
domolovesyoshi 33
Wow all these people are agreeing with the OP and I'm over here all "so what, it's natural, I don't see a problem here" I must be a freak.
BabooonLove 16
I think the problem is that it's uncontrollable.
InfiniteSunshine 32
Queefing is literally just air getting trapped in the ****** and then when it is no longer obstructed, it makes a sound as it escapes and releases. It happens a lot during sex because there's "extra space," due to the opening and canal not being "entirely filled up," so air gets pushed into it with the thrusting. It is uncontrollable anyway, it is not something a person can really hold or stop, and it is not medically a problem, it's just air pockets being released when there is no longer an object obstructing them.
fakedsincerity 32
Same. I'm sure we'll get downvoted though. lol. Shaming women for normal bodily functions, yay.
allie2590 31
It's natural yes, but the issue is that op had to hear about it. It's just a weird and uncomfortable thing to hear for most people, especially from your mom!
fakedsincerity 32
It's not like the OPs mother was talking to them about it. They overheard a private conversation. The OPs mother should be able to discuss stuff like that with her friends with no judgement. I'd agree 100% if she went to her son and was like "hey watch this! *queefs in face*".
repKyle95 24
"I try not to think about it, Rick. I try to just forget aboot it and then move on, but I can't. I mean, she queefed right in my face!"
Earths_Venus 25
Is she related to my mum? I once caught my mum on the phone to my stepdad, on the toilet, taking a dump, with the door open. It was horrifying.
Laphog 17
Dr. Phil always knows exactly what to say
tin_cup 27
Better stock up on air fresheners!
sweetbliss3 37
air freshener? I hope her vag doesn't smell so horrible that she needs air freshener after queefing.