Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was feeling gassy at work so I used my mute button. Later on in the day, I realized my mute button was disabled. Everyone heard me fart and it's recorded. FML
Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML
Today, I farted during a Zoom call in front of our client. I thought mic was muted. My Team Lead had lot of things to say to me. FML
Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML
Today, I was talking to a guy on the phone. I told him I'd be right back. I thought I'd put him on mute. Turns out he heard everything as I took the biggest dump I've ever taken. We haven't talked since. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I was Skyping with a guy I'm really into. I'm not supposed to Skype at night, so when I heard my mum coming, I minimized the window. She walked in before I could mute my mic and started bitching me out for flushing my tampons down the toilet. FML
Today, I was on a conference call in my office with the door closed. I let out some loud farts and felt liberated. Forgot my phone was NOT on mute. There were only 3 people on the conference call - including me. FML
Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML
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Top comments
leopardwilliam 22
A true friend wouldn't mind a little flatulence
Tessa_11 19
Why did you have it muted before that anyway??
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Comments (94)
leopardwilliam 22
A true friend wouldn't mind a little flatulence
adrian1910 15
I think your wrong about that.
leopardwilliam 22
I think you're wrong
teentee401 37
She would when he blatantly let it out while she's upset
doctorhook86 25
#34: I think I pity anyone misfortunate enough to be your friend.
doctorhook86 25
#47: It's a fart, get over it.
Skoff_fml 27
Cut communication with a friend over some gas? Seems a little immature
PaulMcCartney_ 11
*you're #34
jamescrazy96 17
You are not a true friend for muting them!! YDI
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Not really. I have a friend who would call me every other day and lay out their problems to me. I mute them only because sometimes there are other things going on or I'm multitasking. It does not mean I'm not listening. I just don't want them to be disturbed by the sounds at my end. Also some people tend to repeat the same problem over and over again. A true friend would listen to them because you are their only outlet, instead of telling them to call later or shutting them up for repeating the same issue.
SheepShoop_fml 20
OP was (un)muting themselves, not their friend. Fairly respectful thing to do when in a conversation with someone over any media. Burping into a mic is rude. Farting into one apparently ruins friendships...
falloutlogan 6
he/she didn't mute them, he muted himself
jesterinperil 28
They muted their own microphone via Skype, not their friend's sound.
sureshadow 23
You are a moron. They obviously said they muted themselves
ThatDamHuntress 20
Don't blame OP dumbass. He muted himself.
stingray112 24
Do you realize how stupid that sounds like what. "I used to be friends with him, but he muted me on Skype!" Chill out lol
IAmzephyr 22
OP muted themself
jay_ladybug 19
every person on this list has pretty much the same comment. I think it gets understood the first time it's said lol but I don't see how this would make OP any less of a friend.
JayVicious 20
apparently I was the only one thinking #2 was being sarcastic & meant OP trying to mute their fart. if #2 meant what everyone else thought then yeah thats rediculous. true friends IMO wouldn't make a big deal about any bodily function unless it was to make goofy jokes.
uglyheadedbitch 20
That stinks :(
5secondsofvvifi 21
So does this overused pun. Even if you weren't trying to make it one.
Way2Fast8 20
*Sigh* there had to be one
devildog562 33
You're the asshole here op.
taylor21398 14
That's a really devastating blow...but your friend sounds really dull!
Tessa_11 19
Why did you have it muted before that anyway??
NebulaNick 12
That's what I was just wondering
feven 32
I usually mute my mic on skype so the other person doesn't hear any background noises if they're telling me a story or something
ThatDamHuntress 20
I don't know? Maybe, she didn't want her to hear any background noise, or maybe she was one of the people who blurt out stuff and didn't want to interrupt her?
ruckfules85 34
It's natural I don't understand why she's acting like you did it intentionally.
uglyheadedbitch 20
Because after minutes of not responding to her venting, she let out a loud one. If I didn't know the actual story I think she'd sound like an ass too
sk8rdud3 24
She might smell like an ass too?
britbrat237 14
That's actually really funnyXD
ana_lee_bonde 17
Does your friend go by the name YG?
laden_swallow09 35
Huh?
ana_lee_bonde 17
Too much thought involved in that joke nvm.
IAmStory 0
I saw it that way too, but friend could give a chance of explaining rather than just stop talking to her. Still a hilarious plonker-ish thing to happen.
Unrecognisable 12
This FML brought a brilliant start to my day, thanks. :)