Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML
Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML
Today, my 17 year-old brother asked me if I used birth control. When I told him I did, he responded, "Isn't that like using an inhalor when you don't have asthma?" FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend has been slipping me abortion pills to "supplement" my regular birth control. FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me, panicking. Apparently he had a headache, but wasn't concentrating on what tablets he grabbed, and accidentally took tablets for "relief of period pain". He was convinced he was going to grow ovaries overnight. FML
Today, I overheard my dad telling my mum that the only way I'm ever going to get into a relationship is if I "pose as a woman and con some gullible bastard online." He's probably right. FML
Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML
Today, I looked at the supplements my boyfriend puts in the protein shakes we both drink. To my horror, most of them listed "boosts libido" or "increased fertility" as benefits. When I confronted him, he said ,"So? I drink them too, it's not like I'm drugging you or something." FML
Today, I saw my brother's pregnant girlfriend smoking. Disgusted, I asked him why he didn't just stab her in the uterus and get it over with. He laughed like it was a joke, then cussed because he spilled his cereal. He's more concerned about spilled cereal than having a brain-damaged child. FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
This is why we need better sex education not just "abstinence only"
JadeWinter 16
So... Your brother is a virgin then.
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Comments (62)
vikky538 29
wow...new chapter in sex Ed...
toaster012 17
You see... When parents have unprotected sex.......
VittorioCarter 8
I wonder how his logic works
Sakuraashita 15
Interested to see how he thinks that works...
calipilot227 16
Broscience at its best (worst?)
mchmelev1993 10
Smack a bitch :P
worldclassrager 41
He's probably telling him that to scare him so maybe he can have the bragging rights of losing his virgintiy first
marcelmg 10
You tell his girlfriend that sperm gives you male hormones that will make her half-dude and cause abundant hair growth everywhere.
snazzymcwho 21
That extreme lack of education is ridiculously dangerous. Smfh
chazzywazzy654 22
I'm pretty sure if you don't know how you're related to him, you're pretty stupid too OP (;