Today, I had to slowly explain to my slightly ditzy roommate that no, I will not grow testicles due to taking testosterone supplements. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML
Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "Weighing my testicles… you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer." I'm a girl. FML
Today, my grandma told everyone I'm using steroids and amphetamines, all because she mistook my protein powder and vitamin pills for drugs. FML
Today, after having taken hormone tablets to try to increase my cup size, I realized that I've basically reversed my menopause. FML
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML
Today, I overheard my brother telling his friend that having sex with a girl who's on the pill gives the guy female hormones and "turns you into like, half-chick, half-dude." He was serious. How am I related to this moron? FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that no, my period arriving several days late doesn't mean I have AIDS. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML
Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML
Today, I looked at the supplements my boyfriend puts in the protein shakes we both drink. To my horror, most of them listed "boosts libido" or "increased fertility" as benefits. When I confronted him, he said ,"So? I drink them too, it's not like I'm drugging you or something." FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Hahaha, it's amazing to think some people think you can actually grow testicles without seeds! Testosterone alone is useless unless you have the seeds, plenty of sunlight, and nutrient-rich soil. Jesus, I'm still laughing.
bigmusclebro 20
That's how I did it
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Comments (24)
bigmusclebro 20
That's how I did it
jacksonch2607 17
yess first commen
bethrh 49
You mean that's not how it works?
TheRussianNavy 11
I don't think they're slightly ditzy, but rather full blown stupid. Or high.
moondoglou420 17
Slightly?
prettygurl89 16
Read my mind
noisyboy4000 23
Dammit, she's caught onto our male secret
Krystal3408 32
Okay but what would you take to grow the penis?
TheRussianNavy 11
Penis enlargement supplements, I believe.
Cdwoods 20
still believe you have to mold it to make it look like one though.
supr_sexy 9
DUH! a BANANA.....
thebiteof87 27
O
Imnotreallyblack 10
you ot to try to make it like you are slowly getting one, and freak her out
Kitouran 30
Slowly getting one ********?
Feklfekl2222 32
Yeah just testosterone won't give you both testicles, you need to take up some stereotypically manly pastimes to grow the other one
Soloman212 28
Hence the phrase "grow a pair." Growing the first ******** is easy, but completing the pair requires a high level of masculinity and determination.
Tripartita 45
Hahaha, it's amazing to think some people think you can actually grow testicles without seeds! Testosterone alone is useless unless you have the seeds, plenty of sunlight, and nutrient-rich soil. Jesus, I'm still laughing.
Mynamewontfi 40
Wish it was that easy :p Other parts may slightly enlarge though.
Dr_Awesome654 24
Shrink*
trollcrusher 17
@20 If by "shrink" you were referring to the penis, then no, testosterone will not reduce its size. Exogenous testosterone has no effect on penis size, that's a myth perpetuated by rampant ignorance. In women, however, excessive testosterone levels can enlarge the ******** until it resembles a small penis. Either way, it's not going to shrink anything but the testicles (which OP supposedly doesn't have).