Today, I went to the doctor to see if she could check a lump in my vagina. She pushed the lump and asked, "Does this make you want to use the bathroom for a number 2?" I said yes. Turns out, it’s hard poop pushing against my intestines and the outside vagina wall. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my gynecologist's for my checkup and had this sudden urge to poop - but it was my turn, so I just went ahead to meet the doc. The doctor noticed that I wanted to poop and also informed all the orderlies that, "This patient wants to pass stool now." FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML
Today, after nerve pain and trouble sitting down, I found a lump in my ass crack. My doctor thought might be a tumour or cancer, so I was sent for scans. Apparently my whole life I’ve had an ingrown vestigial tail at the bottom of my spine hidden under the skin. FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, I went to the ER as I have an ulcer and I was exhibiting signs of a perforation. This is when the gorgeous doctor told me he had to stick his finger up my butt to check for rectal bleeding. FML
Today, after months of incredibly painful stomach cramps, I convinced my mom that I needed to see a doctor. Not even 2 minutes into the exam, the doctor tells me that I'm heavily constipated and advised some "prune juice" to help "clear all that shit out". My mom won't stop laughing at me. FML
Today, I explained to my dad that I think I have a vaginal infection. I asked if he could take me to the doctor. He responded by saying, "Just shove some ice up there. It'll go away." FML
Today, I was absolutely busting to poop, so badly that I began to sweat. This was while I was sitting a medical exam, and had to write in depth about the mechanical and chemical process of digestion. FML
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
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Top comments
Ellimac21 14
Well it could be wayy worse, it could be a tumor... You're lucky it's only hard poop.
peithecelt 28
I am female, and yes, you can in fact feel that lump if you are constipated. the two areas are rather close.
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Comments (8)
RichardPencil 32
Well, that's one way to get someone to diddle you.
Ellimac21 14
Well it could be wayy worse, it could be a tumor... You're lucky it's only hard poop.
xllabraxasllx 19
Skeptical
peithecelt 28
I am female, and yes, you can in fact feel that lump if you are constipated. the two areas are rather close.
DrSamba1 8
A lot better than cancer.
bratmommie 4
I didn't know that was even possible!!!
Annies 20
Better poop than cancer