Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
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Top comments
mack_the_knife 3
There is a reason why you're with your boyfriend, and not with his fiend.
HowAreYouToday 34
Maybe he loves deli meat...
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Comments (103)
UncleMuscles 5
At least you weren't packaged meat.
Tonyduncan 0
maybe his friend is jealous that he has you and not him
CuriousAlien 7
Hey, YOUR Boyfriend stuck up for you to one of his friends. He's a keeper:) And so what if you have fat thighs and smell like deli meat, at least YOU have someone who still cares about you. I don't the useless friend has a girlfriend.
dellam 3
Haha... Fankles
FalconWhitaker 20
Your boyfriend's mates suck.
Epikouros 32
Don't worry, just avoid dating vegetarians. They're annoying anyway.
DocBastard 40
I'd love it if my wife smelled like deli meat. Right now she smells like soap or flowers! Who the hell wants to smell that? But if she smelled like pastrami...now THAT'S sexy!
Crabtree1015 12
maybe try showering?
stormchaser24 24
Well you boyfriend loves you. I would not let it upset you. You boyfriend's friend just can't get laid so he is upset.
tcdaboss 2
Run to the shower. Problem resolved.