Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, as I was walking out of a restaurant with my boyfriend, I saw some guys checking me out. One of them walked up to my boyfriend and said, "Dude, you and your girlfriend have matching moustaches!" FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
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Top comments
mack_the_knife 3
There is a reason why you're with your boyfriend, and not with his fiend.
HowAreYouToday 34
Maybe he loves deli meat...
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Comments (103)
crushedone 7
Good thing you don't smell like bacon...you'd have to beat the guys off with a stick.
rattusrattus 19
Cooked or raw bacon? Cooked bacon, yes. Raw bacon, and you'd have to be beating the neighbourhood dogs off with a stick, but to human noses it's not that pleasant.
Angielovesmetoo 8
I hope your boyfriend told them to piss off! I know I would.
Lionesse 15
It's hard to ignore when they are your Boyfriend's friends but you shouldn't care what they think. After all, he called you beautiful, not hot or sexy. I think being called beautiful worth a lot more. So.. Who cares what those chumps say
Enslaved 38
Well that was a cold cut! (:
RvidxrKlvn 8
Honestly, at least you have someone that likes you for being you in a world where the people around judge you constantly. Also, someone needs to think of a sandwich joke
Andrew910 5
What happened to the sandwich that crossed the road? It became flatbread.
desoto96 9
As long as she smells like honey ham, I don't see what the problem is. But any how, here's the joke. A ham sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
CaptNomNom 17
Your boyfriend is nice his best friends a douche.
OverBlossomed 22
And that's why the friend isn't your boyfriend. Who wants to bet he doesn't even have a girlfriend?
ScarletBloom 14
Wow! Love makes everything beautiful.
twinkiefeets 17
Aren't you creeped out by her smelling like deli meat.
greeneyebeauty9 28
the only opinion that should matter is your boyfriends.
urbanimpression 6
Well at lest your bf didn't say it