Today, I mustered up the courage to take a dump in a public toilet so I went to the disabled toilet in our university library. I did my thing, the flush didn't work, I pulled the red string thinking it would do something and a buzzer started ringing throughout the whole university. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML
Today, I went to take a piss in a public bathroom. Somehow, I managed to completely jam the lock. After minutes of trying to get myself out, I gave up and crawled under the stall, at which point someone walked in and was very surprised to see me on the floor. FML
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I got trapped in the disabled toilet. When no one responded to knocking and shouting, I pulled the red cord. It still took a member of staff over half an hour to respond because he’d never heard that alarm before, and had to ring his manager to ask what it was. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
You were in the disabled toilet! What were you thinking the string was for? Y’know, the bars aren’t for practicing gymnastics and getting in a quick set of dips!
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Just like on "The IT Crowd," when Roy used a disabled toilet and accidentally pulled the emergency cord instead of the flush chain, so he laid on the floor, pretended to be disabled, and claimed that a man with a ginger beard mugged him and stole his wheelchair, then spent the rest of the episode having to deal with the (sitcom) consequences of lying about being disabled.
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Comments (16)
rmg23667 14
why post it twice
WereDictionary 3
Im okay with it. It means I can YDI it twice.
RichardPencil 32
You were in the disabled toilet! What were you thinking the string was for? Y’know, the bars aren’t for practicing gymnastics and getting in a quick set of dips!
iceberg 10
Dumbass lol
adjwejaelwkdc 21
Just like on "The IT Crowd," when Roy used a disabled toilet and accidentally pulled the emergency cord instead of the flush chain, so he laid on the floor, pretended to be disabled, and claimed that a man with a ginger beard mugged him and stole his wheelchair, then spent the rest of the episode having to deal with the (sitcom) consequences of lying about being disabled.
BurnInDemonFire 39
"I'm disabled." One of the few British shows I actually like. And thank **** the Joel McHale remake tanked.
geniusness 6
Could've been worse - could have been the cord for an Automated Tampon Remover - and you're a guy.
moonlight77 28
In a guys bathroom? I don’t think so...
blahblabbity 19
well, it definitely did something
Adriana Messmann 8
I feel your pain...I hate public bathrooms, school bathrooms, etc. I refuse to use any bathroom except my own...
tounces7 28
You could just explain to them that your disability is clearly mental.
mattyiscool123 26
I haven’t seen this in any bathroom I’ve been in