Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister called me a moron after I told her that no, healthy foods do not give you "negative calories". She's 21 and goes around telling everyone that she's an expert nutritionist. FML
Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML
Today, my family has been unsuccessfully trying to stop my sister's energy drink addiction. She's not even 30, but the doctors say her heart health (or lack thereof) is roughly equivalent to a person over twice her age. She probably won't even live to 40 at this rate, which makes us sad. Why won't she listen to us? FML
Today, at lunch I ordered a Coke. The waiter replied, "Diet Coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular Coke." He shook his head and said again, "Diet Coke." FML
Today, my daughter expressed wanting to lose weight so I took her to a licensed dietician nutritionist to get her a healthy eating plan, and even made her an appointment with a personal trainer to get her on track. I walked in on her eating a whole box of laxatives, because "this way is faster." FML
Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML
Today, I had to explain to my daughter that no, just because the word, "salad" is in the name, it doesn't mean that macaroni or potato salad are automatically healthy for you. She still doesn't believe me. She's 19. FML
Today, I had to teach my 13-year-old sister that sugar and salt don't, "cancel each other out to make the taste neutral". FML
Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML
Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML
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Top comments
ddlovatolover 23
I'd take her drink since she doesn't seem to want it anymore...
Meowdisen 15
If you think about it, that is a pretty awesome way to get her drink. Just push down the diet button, and she will no longer want it. So more for you.
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Comments (56)
DollFacedTee 6
I used to PRETEND to change my drink by pressing down on it too, when I was in elementary school.
Tsukiyomi 16
I'm afraid she is quite stupid
dolphinlvr7 24
I don't understand y it's an FML, it's a funny story. But either way :)
fantasyworld 39
That's funny.
twilight2002 17
hilarious lol
DeadxManxWalking 27
try it for water
Tyrax 16
Yes, FYL for sharing genetics with her.
Andrei I 9
she's not a product of incest, is she?