Today, I had my first day of soccer tryouts. We began with a two mile run. Trying to be honest for once, I didn't lie about my time. Everyone else did. I thus got the worst score, and had to run it again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to run a timed mile. I'm terrible at running. During the run, I thought I was doing a good job. That is, until the teacher told me to stop because I was three laps behind everyone else. FML
Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML
Today, at soccer tryouts, the coach made us run the entire practice. I ran the whole two hours ahead of everyone. When the tryout ended, I vomited due to dehydration. I didn't make the team. The coach's reasoning: "Only the weak throw up". FML
Today, I ran the mile in gym class. I was the second to last person to finish, and I was left panting and feeling faint. When the teacher found out I hadn't come in dead last, he accused me of skipping a lap and is now making me rerun the entire thing. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I went for a run to get in shape for the first time in ages. I put on my running shoes and hit the pavement. Halfway through, the sole of one shoe came off, and I had to hobble back home in embarrassment. FML
Today, I took part in a charity run for a good cause. I'd trained for months and showed up, only to trip and fall flat on my face at the starting line. I spent the rest of the race with scraped knees and a bruised ego. FML
Today, I was up against two others in a 120m race on my school's sports day. Unexpectedly, I heard my name being chanted from most of the classes watching and well, this made me want to win so much that I leaned forward too much whilst running and ended up tripping and rolling on the track. I heard loud sighs after. FML
Today, I ran one of the hardest cross-country courses in the country. I'm a pretty good runner, and I was feeling confident for the first mile. Then the Chipotle from last night's dinner hit, and my legs weren't the only thing running. FML
Today, I was sick and had soccer trials on the same day. At the soccer trials, the coach called me over and told me I was doing really good and to keep it up. I said thanks and vomited on him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flockz 20
and therefore will be faster than everyone during the game. :D
heyy17 10
Well, they are all gonna suck on the field, don't worry coach WILL notice. And plus, you did the right thing!(:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (158)
SmashWilliams 1
that totally sucks!!!
mekora 6
Same thing happened to me in high school OP. Sorry.
Mr_Chow 5
At least you did the right thing... Even though if it did bite you in the arse.
airforce987 20
Now you are twice as fit as your competition = better chance of making the cut. But honestly, what tryout doesn't monitor the results of something like that? Coaches should know kids tend to lie.
Nanall 15
That sucks, 4 miles in a day is a lot. Btw I wonder how much your time was.
je_suis_fml 11
You'll prove them wrong once you come out on top, and everyone else is still lying and breathing hard at the finish line wayyyyyy after you finish! Good luck, OP!
yamatelle 19
Well, on the bright side, you won't have to worry about passing out five minutes into a warm up at 21.
KiddNYC1O 22
Where does it say they're kids?
bankrupt 15
Thank you No. 24 for saying what I was thinking. What kind of dumb ass coaches don't know kids lie and monitor the results themselves? OP's team is NOT headed for the state championships with that dolt in charge.
wintamint101 7
the coaches at my school don't moniter the times either, after you finish the miles you say your time to the coaches, it's all based on honesty. but you did the right thing because if the coaches figure out that everyone lied they'll be punished and you won't!
mgsoloist 14
36-it says varsity soccer player. I don't think that the big shots are sorted by varsity and jv.
Laurenlou 24
25- It says TWO miles. And a lot of people who run for soccer/Crosscountry run more than 5 miles everyday. I can't believe the coaches don't time the run themselves! That's a bit crazy not to. Anyway, OP you did the right thing. ;)
Laurenlou 24
25- I don't see why your comment is thumbed down. 2 plus 2 equals 4 people! ;D Also, people who run for soccer or Crosscountry usually run more than five miles a day. I'm surprised the coaches don't just time the run themselves. Anyway, OP you're better than those losers for telling the truth! :)
KiddNYC1O 22
Well, varsity doesn't necessarily mean they're kids.
KiddNYC1O 22
So you're implying that wherever there isn't honesty, they're only kids involved?
hannahcorrine 0
**** your life. Those other girls shouldn't have lied. That's cheating and unfair to you.
lexi365 20
I'm pretty sure soccer is a spring sport so I don't see how you have tryouts already. My school is only having soccer conditioning but anyways 4 miles isn't a lot considering my conditioning runs are 10 miles (no bragging intended, it sucks). But atleast you are honest and the running you have done will be shown on the pitch so the other girls will get caught. :)
venusvsmars 2
104, my team is doing the girls soccer in the fall with conditioning in the summer. Different districts have different seasons.
jamie72596 9
Eh, 4 miles isn't that bad! And look on the bright side...thats an extra 400 calories you can eat! Woo! :D
kelsey_katie 17
104, At my school, the fall sports are: Girls&boys soccer, volleyball, football, and cross country. Then in winter we have basketball, and in spring, we have spring series volleyball, and track and field.
Prankster7o7 5
39- A coach that doesn't really care does that.
DesB 7
Lmao that's why you should always cut your time by 15-30 secs shorter then your original time yes honesty is the best policy but come on unless you've been running all summer smudging the truth for the first 2 or 3 runs is alot better then having to run it all over again an by the 3rd run you shouldn't have to cut it down... An the coaches can't time the whole team while they run at least not at my school they couldn't cause we ran in clumps...
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
tbh OP, they'll be ****** once they up against other footballers. yes, Americans, I said "footballers"
Give_Linux_A_Go 28
#154, I never said that, I was saying that the guys who lied about how fast they were will be ****** cause they've presumably taken shortcuts to fitness and the whole "football in the UK, soccer in the US" was me having a little fun. its ridiculous how worked up some people get over a different word for the same thing
flockz 20
and therefore will be faster than everyone during the game. :D
bball234 6
true, yet i have a sneaking feeling that that wasnt op's intention.
RockRoll 0
I guess it was a ninja tactic that slightly failed. Either way, props to OP for telling the truth.
eminemchick 19
lesson learned: always lie.
Amrel 10
Yep so he can be #WINNING
eeppiicc 8
Winning like Charlie sheen P.s damn it flockz atop changing your picture
Lulblast 4
WHAT THE HELL IS UPP WITH THESE ASS CANDLES? WHY DO THEY KEEP POPPING UP ON FML?!?!?!
JMWisc 0
WTF is an ass candle?
dreadfullife 1
true that!
heyy17 10
Well, they are all gonna suck on the field, don't worry coach WILL notice. And plus, you did the right thing!(:
abbybailey204 19
4 and 61 I was thinking both of those b4 I read the comments
Calebfml3 1
I agree with you
Babalu722 3
67- congrats, would you like a cookie?
rawrcatx 0
Agreed, you did the right thing & it will pay off later when you kick everyone's asses in soccer(;
leadman1989 16
They all ran the same distance, they just lied about the time it took them to complete it. How's OP gonna be in better shape doing the exact same work out or if he doesn't make the cut for being "to slow"... cause everyone else is lying?
CANNIBALx 0
129 - Did you read the FML? OP did what everyone else did twice.
DinosaursAreCool_fml 8
OP said that it was the first day of tryouts, so I'm assuming they have to do different things on different days to make the team. He didn't lie about his time running the 2 miles and the other people did, but when the time comes where there is a game or more practicing, the coach will see that OP is a faster runner and is in better shape than most of his teammates (because you can run faster when you are in better shape) and coach will realize things. Get it now?
kb241996 0
are u retarded? its called the intensity of a workkout? if u walk the same distance u run ur not gonna get the same workout
knights95 9
I hated having to run 2 miles for soccer tryouts.
schaflava 0
Considering you spend a lot of time running in soccer, two miles should be like baby steps.
IndiRae 9
Shit. You lucky bastard. We had a three mile during school workout, a four mile warmup after school in practice and then sprints whenever someone wouldn't shoot on frame or if I didn't block more than three balls.
sccrismyantidrg 4
That sounds terrible Indi. Did you even have time to enjoy the sport after all that? The worst we ever had to do was two-a-days where we had conditioning in the morning and scrimmages in the evening for two weeks before school started.
PrestonG95 7
Not really...
Wheredidgrungego 12
And once again, the person who does the right thing gets shit upon.
mea_iloveskiing 26
Always happens to me!
instnt1nfction 17
Nice guys finish last Except for Chuck Norris, he will beat your ass
Phat_Santa 13
Who said Chuck Norris was a nice guy?
BVBpwns9998 0
God that has to suck. YDI for not lying jkjk
reallytho3 11
Nice joke jkjk
kroekdog 7
I can barely run one mile...
dickydickman 0
I can't barely walk one...
Zombielanddd 7
Rule number 1, Cardio.
cicpjaky 6
Honesty is the best policy
oops_im_fucked 8
Except for in this situation...
schaflava 0
Or if your wife asks you if you peed in the litter box...I was drunk
FurryPride 9
Good on you number 9 for being in the ROTC program.
claricebeasley 0
That does suck!!!