Today, I made an attempt to be nicer to customers at my job as instructed, which resulted in me listening to a handful of elderly people's incontinence issues, and a meth-addict's multiple abortions in detail. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was on the phone with an elderly customer at work. I had to spend 10 minutes listening to him describe how the underwear he bought was too tight and caused his bladder to leak. FML
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML
Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML
Today, I sold cigarettes to a woman who promptly told me that she smoked meth. It's only my second night working this job. FML
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML
Today, I once again had to clean up a shower and bathroom covered in feces, because of client with incontinence. It smelt so bad that I couldn’t hide my reaction; the client saw my face and I could see the embarrassment on theirs. I spent the rest of the day feeling like an asshole. FML
Today, during my shift at work, I started to feel really sick and started throwing up. While I had my head in a bag, I had several customers ask me for directions, and another customer abuse me for my lack of service. FML
Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML
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Top comments
abbyade 21
It depends on where you work. As a physiotherapist working in a mental health unit, that's my bread and butter listening to incontinence issues and some other weird stories. However, good on you for listening. They feel appreciated and wanted just being listened to.
CaptMacLeod 45
I'm going to guess you work in a pharmacy? People always assume that Associates have the expertise of the Pharmacist, and that the Pharm is a doctor. I feel for you.
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Comments (39)
zzctdi 3
#PureFlordia
worldclassrager 41
Well that might kickstart a psychology job...if your face can change...
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
So did anyone else think of Pennsatucky from OITNB as the Meth addict with multiple abortions?
InsanityVerge 8
i don't feel bad for you because i get th3 same. thing. its q gift that people can br so open with you
anime_freak24 7
Ah, retail.
The_ghetto_mango 25
So you're saying being nice to people is a bad thing? My god, being nice is not bad at all, and you can make new, great friends who support you and help you when you really need it. Also, good friends aren't jackasses, they bring you up, and they do what they think is right for you, so you can go ahead in life.
analbeadlicker 14
Florida.
oliviablurr 8
where do you work? Walmart?