Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML
Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML
Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
Today, I was at my job as a dental assistant and I was told to take an X-ray of a woman's teeth. As soon as I put the foam piece into her mouth, she projectile-vomited all over me and the floor. I had just started my 5-hour shift. FML
Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
dtbomb 3
What a shitty job. lol
SayItNicely 0
Do you happen to work at the same place as the person who asked for a bottle of milk? Then that wouldn't seem so weird...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
websmith 0
You're doing it wrong...
BlessedSon 0
Oh my gosh, eeeew Im so, sorry for you
shoecrazy 5
eww that sucks
britasif27 5
being shitt on isn't cool. did you get up and leave?
Danieleb56 0
guhross!!!!!!
jorankay411 6
At least it wasn't your right eyeball ha ha!!!!! No, I Kidd.... That totally sucks... Talk about shitty jobs :P
KagamineLen_fml 0
well reading the story again, I don't think OP was actually milking a cow. They said they were a student vet and they tried to inject the udder of the cow, not milk it. but YDI because I would hope you wore gloves for this job, why not goggles?
codizzle123 0
Of all the ways to get to the udder, why the hell would you take the route in which you are directly up the cow's ass? If this is real, which I highly doubt, you should probably rethink your career choice...
jackie_shortyy3 0
uuuuggghhh pppiiinnnkk eeyyyeee! hahaa.
werzal 5
You tools who know nothing about dairies! At a dairy you do milk cows from behind. Also (for those who don't know cows) they get nervous when there are new things (or people) or if their routine is broken. When they're nervous they shit...
codizzle123 0
Not every dairy milks from the back. We certainly don't. Besides, in this situation OP wasn't milking, they were injecting. Which in my experience would make the possibility of getting kicked more likely, so why would you put yourself directly in the line of fire? FAIL.
werzal 5
injecting the udder with an intra-mammary antibiotic... not always a needle and syringe.