Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cow take a large, flatulent shit with my arm still elbow-deep inside their rectum. FML
Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML
Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML
Today, I went into the farm where I work. Within the first 30 minutes I slipped on a fresh cow pie and broke my ankle. FML
Today, I broke my glasses. How did I break my glasses? A cow kicked me in the face at work. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML
Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
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Top comments
Rayn4u_fml 0
You gasped...as in...your mouth was wide open for reception?
revolution_fml 0
Shit...literally.
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Comments (9)
kbarko 0
There is no way that could be true
Rayn4u_fml 0
You gasped...as in...your mouth was wide open for reception?
revolution_fml 0
Shit...literally.
supafly208 0
hhmm..grassy crap in my face or donkeykicked in the balls.... decisions decisions
Obsidianhawk 0
Wow, after reading this I feel so much better about my day.
FMLRabbit 0
That`s just terrible luck. F your life indeed.
sillypun 0
you work in a milk parlor. FYL
alwaysalady 0
Where do you live? Just curous, cuz I've never seen a milking parlor.
FlavorfulUnicorn 4
That is horrible. But still really funny.