Today, while on a first date, we ran into a street performer dressed as a clown. I have a phobia of clowns, so I froze in place for a solid 30 seconds before moving away as fast as I could. She spent the rest of the date looking at me oddly, then afterwards said we weren’t going to work out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on a first date and tried to crack a joke by saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not a serial killer.” My date replied, completely serious, “That’s exactly what a serial killer would say.” The rest of the date was eaten in awkward silence and vague small talk. I'm not going back into the dating pool ever again. FML
Today, I went speed dating. I arrived at my first date and she looked me up and down and said, "Oh, that's awkward." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy that I met at a masquerade. The moment he saw me without my mask on, he left the date. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "Nope", and walked out. FML
Today, I was on a first date. She asked what I do, so I replied, "I create adverts." She then yelled, "F**k you" and left. FML
Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML
Today, I went on my first date in six years. The guy was unbelievably creepy, and I couldn't wait for it to be over. Right after we finished eating, he told me he loved me, then tried to lean in for a kiss. He looked like he was going to cry when I turned him down. FML
Today, I was on a first date and wanted to tell my date a joke. I started laughing halfway through telling it because I found it hilarious. She didn’t laugh. Turns out, I completely forgot the punchline and just sat there cackling like a lunatic. Now I’m getting ghosted. FML
Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said, "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML
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Top comments
ThorCTF 12
Dawg you don't know people's past, obviously exaggerating to give you context but for all you know he could've had his parents murdered by a clown in front of him as a kid. Yeah it's a pretty silly phobia to have as an adult but you're just being a dick without knowing the background. Don't go asking people if they're 5 while displaying the emotional maturity of a 4 years old bud, it's not a good look
BurnInDemonFire 39
Coulrophobia is nothing to laugh at. Ironically. And you probably dodged a bullet anyway. She could have fan art at home of her getting gangbanged by Insane Clown Posse and Pennywise (the clown, not the band). Ain't nobody got time for that.
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dongdong xiang 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What the **** dude what are you 5? grow the **** up. youre on a ******* date. She dodged a huge bullet. Hopefully you wont act like a big ******* pansy next time. YDI
ThorCTF 12
Dawg you don't know people's past, obviously exaggerating to give you context but for all you know he could've had his parents murdered by a clown in front of him as a kid. Yeah it's a pretty silly phobia to have as an adult but you're just being a dick without knowing the background. Don't go asking people if they're 5 while displaying the emotional maturity of a 4 years old bud, it's not a good look
dongdong xiang 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
“Maturity of 4 years old” Im not the one acting like a pussy ass nigga over some ******* in some makeup like a little pansy ass bitch. If you have some silly phobia like that you probably shouldn’t be dating and see a shrink or something. its not your partners job to heal your pussy ass
dongdong xiang 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
IM GONNA REPORT THIS RACIST ASS WEBSITE
Ubehage 32
lol, you are the dumbest mofo I have seen on this site.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Coulrophobia is nothing to laugh at. Ironically. And you probably dodged a bullet anyway. She could have fan art at home of her getting gangbanged by Insane Clown Posse and Pennywise (the clown, not the band). Ain't nobody got time for that.