Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
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Top comments
Mega07 6
please go get yourself tested
FMLkoala 28
You mean ex girlfriend right?
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Comments (108)
dilillo1148 4
FYL, but I don't blame your co-workers for picking on you. I'd do the same.
ihearuscreamin 13
So I'm assuming no one knew your exgf because it was a new relationship thus no one knew to tell u the hooker down the street was ur gf..that sucks. Staff shouldn't judge u especially if u didn't know.
twinkiefeets 17
How did you not know? How did your coworkers not mention it?
aliw12 2
so she's been ur gf for 3 month's, and instead of helping her, u arrest her? ...makes sense ...
baref00tmama 15
Yes, it does. If OP was willing to jeopardize his job for someone who he's only been seeing for 3 months (who lied to him about being a streetwalker!) he'd be an idiot.
Tim2415 16
As a fellow officer, I know about the cruel inside jokes the department does to ya, but what I have to say is keep doing what you're doing! Good job!
Yettie 9
wtf was a prostitute thinking that a relationship with a cop would end well
WhiteCrimson 23
Story to tell your gran kids OP. I screwed a prozy without paying for 3months and the I put I her in jail when I got tired of her! Hahahahaha
metalhedcop 6
Hate that for you bro. I'm an officer too. All I can say is I'd be runnin every chick I dated through NCIC from now on.
lucasjames22 8
I hope you mean ex girlfriend.
lucasj23 11
um....get tested? Did you know she was a hooker?