Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Cheeky
Today, my ex got arrested for stealing. His new girlfriend texted me asking if I could lend her money to bail him out. FML
Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Such a narc
Today, I called the campus police "anonymously" while my roommate was away and told them about her weed stash because I was tired of her smoking in our room all the time. She had taken her weed to a friend's and got off scot-free. I have a hearing Monday for the Adderall they found in my desk. FML
Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML
Today, I found out that my best friend's psycho ex-girlfriend has been stalking me on social media for the past few months, when she contacted me asking why I was holding hands with him in a picture from over two years ago. FML
Freakout part 47674
Today, I found out my psycho ex also reads FML. She called me at work, pissed that I'd "publicly humiliated" her on here. I haven't posted about her at all. I'm sure the brick I found thrown through my window a few hours later has nothing to do with her, though. FML
Mixed signals
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
Memories
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Top comments
Silly_Lilly6969 23
So you're telling me I could snitch on people to pay my bills?
BrowniesJT 19
I have so much snitching to catch up on.
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Comments (100)
Silly_Lilly6969 23
So you're telling me I could snitch on people to pay my bills?
BrowniesJT 19
I have so much snitching to catch up on.
Draugen 16
Snitches get stitches, but it's still 1k, soooo...
onlychildFTW 34
Only if those snitches don't die! Higher odds of a snitch getting put in the ditch.
Mathalamus 25
You can, apparently. Just be prepared to accept the possibility of your social life imploding because of it.
themostunlucky_fml 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Snitches get stitches-_-
junjunbun 28
What a waste of good weed, unless the cops smokes it during the coffe break at 4.20...
blacklightening 11
now that funny
pedinhuh 23
Well, did your friends really had drugs with them or not? Are they still in jail? This needs a follow up
THEDUDE1553566 24
They wouldn't be arrested if they didn't have drugs in their possession...
cheeeksss 29
The hell? Doesn't the FML say "for having weed"? Or are you being sarcastic...
Salvanoi 23
I think he meant was the weed theirs or did his ex plant it on them.
quesocoatl 14
they obviously didn't mean that.
geekpower_fml 28
Your girlfriend and two friends deserved it though. Sorry, but the law is the law.
pedinhuh 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Because the law is 100% perfect and makes all the sense, right?
Fairyjoshy 13
And an unjust law is no law.
Aurora94 20
It does not matter if it's unjust or not. Law is law.
lysx84 24
I agree - the law is the law. Disagreeing with something doesn't change it. I personally think cannabis use SHOULD be legalised, however, I am aware of the risks involved should I choose to break the law.
geekpower_fml 28
Exactly. If you don't want to deal with the consequences, don't break the law. Simple. Doesn't matter what you think about it. If you think something's wrong, by all means campaign against it, but breaking the law won't help.
barlos88 19
Yep, and what a great use of our tax dollars it is enforcing and putting people in jail over said law...
DoomedGemini 38
I would agree if they were just caught with it. I have to say FML for the bitchy ex. How did she even know anyway..?
srhearrell 21
I think what OP is saying is that his psycho obsessed ex placed weed to frame OP's friends and girlfriend.
JustinJK 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Black people had literally zero freedoms, but it was OK be cause the was the law then, right? Before roe v wade abortion was illegal and women used to not be able to vote. But, sorry, the law is the law and that's OK. It totally made sense when alcohol was illegal, because you know laws are laws and they de facto dictate ultimately what is right and wrong. The Indian removal law, which led to the death of 8000 Indians, was totally ok because that was what the law was. The more than 100k Japanese forced to live in camps was OK too because it was an executive order, and man, laws are laws so they should be blindly accepted.
simsgirlgem 25
unless his girlfriend and two friends are in other states Cali along with a couple other states has pot as a legal substance and therefore his girlfriend and friends should not been arrested
ChopSuey444 20
#39 No one said the law was always right. Society evolves and shapes. Saying "Slavery was once legal" is NOT a good argument for using illegal drugs. And even that's evolving, into legal medical use and maybe someday it'll be legal for recreational purposes all around. But don't pretend it's on the same level as legal racial discrimination/cruelty, that's asinine.
lysx84 24
#39 I don't think anyone said that the law should be ACCEPTED, more that if you know you do something illegal that you should prepare yourself for consequences, be they justified or not. The world is far from perfect, and the laws we live by are far from perfect. Progression is slow, but it's your own fault if you're caught knowingly breaking law.
Corey122726 17
Yes, law is the law. How many people here do the exact speed limit in their vehicles? Do you ever roll a stop sign or try beating a yellow light and continue to go through an intersection even though your light was red? Does everyone use their turn signals while changing lanes? How many people smoke cigarettes before they're 18 or drink alcohol before they're 21? Everyone here who says "the law is the law" I can promise breaks the law almost on a daily basis themselves. Before passing judgement on some weed which is beginning to be legalized anyway..... let's all stop and realize we are just as guilty as they are.
rldostie 19
But 47, if I speed or roll through a stop, I know I'm doing something illegal and willing to risk the consequences. If a cop stops me, I know I deserve it, even if I don't agree with the speed limit or where a stop sign is placed. I have no one to blame but myself. It's the same with weed. Even if the law is stupid, a waste of tax payers dollars, and one doesn't agree with it, it's still illegal and if you break that law, you must be willing to face the consequences. You have no one to blame but yourself if you get caught. If I speed and get caught, it's not like I'm going to get angry at the cop and blame him.
Redgy22 26
I THINK this FML was about OP's ex girlfriend bragging on the web about getting his current girlfriend & buddies arrested & making money off it. Not sure why you've taken a left turn & climbed on a soapbox.
wiccaantje 21
#48 This FML is from California where they have a conflicting law. State law says its allowed, federal law says its illegal. This has as consequence that people can get arrested for breaking the federal law, while getting released in court because it's legal under state law. And that ACTUALLY happens. Huge waste of money and infriction on people's freedom... So where does that fit in your equation? They are allowed to do it, it's state law. They AREN'T allowed to do it, it's federal law.
Ichiya 29
Im sorry but weed should never be legallized for recreational purposes. Weed is fine as a prescribed drug for certain illnesses, but beyond that it needlessly messes with the brain's chemistry. Alcohol is the same. The brain's chemistry is in a delicate balance and changing that balance without a legitimate medical need is dangerous. Most mental disorders are caused by an imbalance in the chemicals in the brain.
Candijpg 17
#39 you can't really compare slavery to smoking weed
wiccaantje 21
@68 Yes it does bad things to the brain, but why does that means it NEEDS to be illegal? Skydiving is waaaay more of a health-risk but that's still legal AND SHOULD be legal. Anything that has harmfull effects should have massive warning labels enforced by law, but not illegal. People can and should make their own decisions about their life. For you it's not worth it? Ok don't use it. For them it's worth it. Ok use it. People should get protected by the law but only to the point that it's not infricting on their freedom. For it to be illegal (in my eyes), it should have harmfull effects on someone besides the user or harmfull effects that are out of bounds (death, super addictive, ...) or you should have a history of serious abuse of the substance.
rldostie 19
65, I would wonder why the Feds were involved in such a case. USUALLY, when a state law exists, state police abide by the law where as federal officials can enforce their version of it. So in order for you to be charged for breaking a federal law in a state where its legal, the Feds are involved, not the state police. This is usually in cases of trafficking and selling. So it's not the case for small time users. So have enough weed to use recreationally for yourself? Ok. Have enough to being considered "intent to sell"? Not okay. Feds won't bother with personal recreational use but will for intent to sell. Perhaps the OPs friends/gf had a little too much on them.
friedpwnadge 25
You know what else was legal? Slavery. The ******* holocaust. Blacks were once legally 3/5 of a man. Yeah, the law is a great moral compass.
EarlFug 19
Aren't you late for your Scientology meeting?
cloudyface 23
Pulling random shit out of your ass does not prove your point. You failed to mention that when people the laws are unjust people will fight to change them. Until then this pot law it still a law.
skycollapsed 5
I will disobey unjust laws 100 percent of the time and living in Australia we have lots of stupid nanny state laws and over regulation to contend with.
quesocoatl 14
#48 the penalty for traffic violations are much more reasonable than drug violations. it's easier to say that you are okay with the consequences when the consequences are not extreme.
THEDUDE1553566 24
The holocaust was never legal that's a crime against humanity called GENOCIDE. Genocide was never legal bro and I'm offended you thought it was, considering I am a Jew who lost family in the holocaust
D11Churchkill 8
Yea everyone here is like "Yeah serves them right for enjoying themselves!" Shit just cause its the law doesn't make it wrong. No one gets harmed why should they go to prison for smoking?
D11Churchkill 8
The point of the argument is that "law is law" is a dumb argument, not that illegal weed is as oppressive as slavery. No one said that.
chocolateyum 5
I'd stay out of it if I were you
amb27 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
She may be psycho but it is illegal so
Fairyjoshy 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
...You, 13? Anyone willing to nitpick that much might just be a politician :P
Sathane 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Oh yes, a 13 year old politician... duh!
tomvertigo 17
I vote #13 for president. He comes across as a politician about things that matter.
CosmicElk 26
Well thats a good way to pay the bills
vikky538 29
Thats one way
domolovesyoshi 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This needs a follow up so bad, did your friends and girlfriend actually have weed because if they did they deserved it
PegLegRacing 34
They don't arrest you for not having anything on you. That's not how that works.
THEDUDE1553566 24
Rethink your question...and learn our damn legal system please
tomvertigo 17
No one deserves jail for weed. Weed suffers from the same bullshit that alcohol did in the 20s - no government regulation. Once they figure out how to profit off of it, it will be allowed everywhere.
sailorsaturn10 5
I believe what they meant was did the ex plant the weed, or did they own the weed?
Mathalamus 25
Well, weed is clearly illegal. They deserve to be arrested. If they were smart, they would make a trip to a legal state, for the weed. Or waited till it was legal.
pyro99998 1
Or carry less on them. You don't get arrested for a couple grams. They just give you a ticket and may give you a court date according to a few people I used to work with.
chinaski7628 32
Or, since it's California, spend the $50 on a marijuana prescription card and get/possess it legally. It's not that hard to do.
infantrysoldier 10
In California you only get a $100 ticket if it's below 28 grams.
enganerd 17
She's a butt for reporting them but at the same time they did have an illegal substance so it was just a matter of time before they got caught.