Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML
Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML
Today, my girlfriend was suspended from work after she was caught fucking one of her co-workers. FML
Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mega07 6
please go get yourself tested
FMLkoala 28
You mean ex girlfriend right?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (108)
toneeangel 22
So i guess u decided to skip the background check
NotoriousLES 14
So many unanswered questions! Why would a hooker date a cop? How would a cop not know his girl was a hooker? What circumstances led to discovering and arresting her? And lastly, how did all the other cops know her, just as the girlfriend or as a prostitute/offender? Questions aside, that's a true FML. Sorry for you OP
RedPillSucks 33
Tune in next time for more episodes of "As the FML Turns"
lil_mars 1
You might want to get a full STD test, OP... Sorry that happened, Officer :/
LegolasPrincess 10
Sorry about your luck OP, but you should see a doctor after being with her.
someindiandude 6
I have a feeling that since his colleagues knew his (ex) girlfriend, he was getting judging looks because they might be thinking that he fake booked her as some sort of revenge/break up.
NotoriousLES 14
I doubt its possible to "fake book" someone, especially because the booking process involves multiple people, computer systems, and public information discloser. As for the looks, imagine your coworkers find out your romantic interest turned out to be a hooker, then times that by 10 because they are all police officers. OP's life is pretty well ****** alright.
westcoastkp 13
If they were judging him, i assume they knew it was his girlfriend.
soapmactavish82 8
That's terrible, I hope things turn out better soon.
incoherentrmblr 22
No get out of jail card this time.
lostribe 3
I am tempted to say you deserved it for not recognizing a ho when you see one. If it acts like a ho in texts, it's a ho. If it says "no strings" or "no one ever needs to know," it's a ho. If it sympathizes with you because your wife is a b*tch, it's a ho. If it says it loves BJ's, it's a ho and a lying ho at that. If it tells you how wonderful you are before it even knows you, it's a ho. When in doubt whether a ho is a ho, always ask a female friend to observe her or show her the emails/texts. Women can always spot one because they know if it sounds to good to be true, it usually is.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Sex workers need love and companionship and someone to come home to like anyone else. I've known a couple; they're human and have needs just like anybody. That said, I can't imagine a relationship with a prostitute would be easy, for all sorts of reasons. I personally would not rule it out, but we'd have to have quite a talk first.
SaintJimmyxx 8
what prostitute dates a cop...?