Today, I lost what should've been the easiest bet ever. Now I have to let my girlfriend go at me with a strap-on or forever be known as a sore loser. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost a bet with my girlfriend. I now have to wear a shirt saying "Worlds Smallest Penis" everywhere I go for a month. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner, and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML
Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML
Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a choice of having a circumcision or breaking up with her. Either way I'm going to lose something I hold dear. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, my wife, who I thought was my soulmate, admitted that she only went out on our first date because she'd lost a bet, and she'd thought I was a loser. Even though she kept saying that she really did fall in love with me, I left. My heart is just shattered. I'm not going back. FML
Today, my team suffered a humiliating loss against our biggest rivals. My family was pretty supportive, though, but only because they'd taken bets against me from the start. FML
Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML
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Top comments
Bman54 19
I guess either way, you're gonna be sore.
SorasOtherForm 4
What was the bet?
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Comments (227)
ulissey_fml 22
It's down to a simple choice: keep your jockstrap on ...or keep getting strap jokes.
Butters789 18
Don't do it the ****
crandel 11
How's this a loss? It feels great. Just use a bit of lube and ask her to give you a reach-around as she does it.
laden_swallow09 35
Stock up on lube!
tomtoms23 5
Take the sore loser tag, the poop shoot is a one way street fella.
danman27 15
Hah. Sore
NYGiants1925 22
You should get used to being called a sore loser.
trojanman74 6
I think the strap on should be forever be known as the "sore loser"
Cebolamole 13
I'm guessing that if you had won the bet, you would be going at her instead? Either way, winning a bet and being forced to do something sexual is borderline rape - it is without your consent, you were coerced into doing it. Just think about it if the roles were reversed and if you would be ok with her backing out of the bet... Anyway, neither one of you should be forced into any sexual contact if you don't want to, bet or no bet.
pinksox 10
This dude obviously wants to get plowed in his butt or he either wouldn't have made the bet it would not let it happen.