Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML
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Top comments
JennNoVa 8
I would have made you buy a tube of K.Y. Jelly too. Be grateful.
iOceanus 18
She will obviously be make a salad to eat while reading.
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Comments (170)
limitedition 25
I want to hang around with you guys! Sound like a fun group.
geko911 22
Girls*
Hillaryy789 9
This would be even more hilarious if op was a guy. Too bad.
cptmorgan6 8
OP, don't lie. There was no bet.
Sam_Dchi 23
be thankful you're not a dude
krasner 5
Am i the only that hates this book? it's just serve to jerk-off a bit. I prefer to read something erotic stories about murders and violations that there's by the red.
krasner 5
i really hate this book. there's better books of its style.
perdix 31
You should have bought condoms, too. You don't want to trust a strange cucumber ;) After reading that claptrap, you may confirm that cashier's suspicions of what fate lay ahead of the poor vegetable/fruit.
musiciangirl591 16
it will turn into a pickle :P
vadaaa 11
122- that comment is literally the most disgusting thing I have read in the last month. Oh god ... just imagining it....
TheyCallMeDamien 18
You just made my day.
idrankurjuice 7
Lol epic. Id have loved to see this in person.
pacmanman 15
A bets a bet! You knew the risks when you took it. Your friends are awesome for that! XD