Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML
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Top comments
JennNoVa 8
I would have made you buy a tube of K.Y. Jelly too. Be grateful.
iOceanus 18
She will obviously be make a salad to eat while reading.
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Comments (170)
BrotherTheo 31
Ha you just got a laugh. Want to see her Jaw drop? Show up with 'Screw the roses, I want the thorns'...... 50 shades of grey is for amateurs.
GrinchFu1 27
Reminds me of a funny game my friends and I play. Each person comes up with three of the most random/bizarre items you could buy at a Wal-Mart or Target. Throw em in a hat, mix em up, and each pick out three at random. If you choose not to buy the items cause you are embarrassed, or laughed during checkout, you buy drinks for everyone that night. I won the last game. I had to buy lube, a single carrot, and a Justin Bieber poster. Easy money!
GwennaRose 22
If I could favorite a comment, it would be this one
GrinchFu1 27
Haha! Thanks. If you can't have a little fun at your own expense then you're not really living. All smiles all the time :-)
jem970 19
That sounds like an awesome game!
akiahara 14
You're lucky it was just a cucumber.
EvilUndead 9
You could alter shopping list a bit, you know. example #1: 1. several copies of shades of gray 2. Can of gas/kerosine/lamp oil 3. Box of matches 4. Cucumber. example #2. 1. 50 shades of gray 2. several cucumbers. 3. Several tomatoes. 4. Several potatoes. 5. Vegetable oil. 6. Onion + garlick. 7. Mayonnaise.
imagineapc 11
Altering the shopping list would have been cheating on the punishment for having lost the bet.
qwerty___89 6
Brilliant!
TheWorldGreatest 8
Omg that's too funny! Made my day lol
Dcm210 19
I would have also made you buy duct tape, or rope to go with with aaaaaand a energy drink.
zilla52 12
that's a good one
SwtCherryPie 26
That made me laugh hard.
gregkingsley 4
What was the total for all that? Seems like a lot of $ but I have no idea how much that book costs
meekthekit 6
It's like 12 bucks.