Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost a bet with friends and now have to sit and watch all the Twilight movies. FML
Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML
Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML
Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML
Today, I walked two miles to the store, filled my cart with groceries, and got to the cashier… only to find I had forgotten my wallet. I tried to explain but got the nastiest stank-eye from the cashier, the manager, and everyone in line behind me. I walked two miles home, hungry and embarrassed. FML
Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy my weekly groceries and only realized after a long queue at the checkout, then having the cashier scan my entire cart, that I'd forgotten my purse. I had to leave everything behind and walk out empty-handed, while everyone in line behind me gave me dirty looks. FML
Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML
Today, I was collecting on a bet I had with a buddy on a sports game. He owed me lunch. I have a huge crush on the waitress and told him. She asked if we wanted the checks split and he said, "No, my boyfriend doesn't have any money." FML
Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML
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Top comments
JennNoVa 8
I would have made you buy a tube of K.Y. Jelly too. Be grateful.
iOceanus 18
She will obviously be make a salad to eat while reading.
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Comments (170)
StupidBunnies 10
Dont make bets if you dont want to lose. That would be hilarious to see though...
whirlednews 8
Who wants to bet on how long it will be until that cucumber turns into a pickle?
kathcduri 3
Ew....
soad4life 2
Who left this pickle on the couch?!?
DntLookBack 29
Well if she's imaginary, how do you explain the pickle on the couch?
musiciangirl591 16
whose pickle is this?!
AH1Zviper 15
Imagine you losing another bet and doing this again. Twilight with a zucchini, 50 shades darker with a banana...
jarrettd 27
Only gets better with sequels.
DropBearMeat 23
You can probably return the book and get your money back as long as the stipulations of the bet weren't that you have to keep it. Of course, you run the risk of being laughed at again by the returns dept. when they see your receipt.
DocBastard 40
Congratulations, you just made that cashier's day, week, and month. They'll be talking about you in the break room for weeks! What, that doesn't make you feel better? Well, there's always the cucumber...
Sprechchor 12
Nope, the cucumber will be in the break room talking about her as well.
laden_swallow09 35
55- That made no sense.
GwennaRose 22
My question is are you going to tie up the cucumber or vise versa?
zombieslayer83 19
Rent a hotel room,Tie up the cucumber and then pull the fire alarm. That will leave it in a pickle.
Sprechchor 12
She's going to handcuff the cucumber.
GrinchFu1 27
I like how your mind works...
cmbar831 14
That just made my day
EsotericBrent 29
Me too, spat out my food while eating lunch it was so funny. Definitely remembering this for my next bet ;)
Schiffy 18
You have awesome friends
DishnobFruitCum 5
Why would they ring you up if you were going to pay with a cucumber? I call BS on this one.
Pleonasm 36
Why are you calling Barney Stinson on this one?
Ty_Peer 4
It's funny but I still haven't figured out if the OP is a guy or a girl
SirCharles83 13
Girl.
littlem91 29
Oh, so naive 128.
nygyrfan 10
To Eat.