Today, while enjoying a truly epic move from my wife in the hotel shower, I managed to accidentally pull the "grab bar" from the wall and clock her in the side of the head. Three stitches at the Urgent Care later, she's explaining to the entire waiting room how it happened. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and steamy in the shower, until I slipped and fell backwards into the shower curtain, which caused me to hit the back of my head on the toilet seat, and the bar of the shower curtain to land on my throat. FML
Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML
Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML
Today, my wife tried to join me in the shower to be sexy, only I was shampooing so when I turned round and felt someone in the shower with me, I panicked and we both fell and got stuck in the bottom of the bath. Our kids had to come and help, because my wife had a broken arm and we couldn’t move. FML
Today, I was leaning under a counter to get my girlfriend her favorite snack food out of a low cabinet when she decided it would be funny to poke me while I was in an awkward position. I jerked up, rammed my head on the bottom of the counter, and ended up at the ER with staples in my head. FML
Today, after a long dry spell, I spent a day treating my wife, ending with a full body massage. She was wearing only panties, breathing heavily, and spread her legs, so I reached for her crotch to finger her… and she kicked me in the head so hard I fell off the bed and split my head open. FML
Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML
Today, while in the shower, I heard my phone buzz. Expecting an important text, I leaned out to check it. I slipped, hit my head on the sink, and ended up stuck in the most awkward position possible with one leg in the shower and the other out. My roommate had to rescue me. FML
Today, while showering I slipped and fell, taking down the shower curtain and smashing my head against the floor, resulting in a concussion. My family came running because of the noise and I lay naked, bleeding and concussed for few minutes before they could stop laughing enough to get me help. FML
Today, while I was showering, my brother thought it would be funny to burst through the door pretending he was a burglar. Panicked, I went to grab the soap bar as a weapon, slipped, fell, and hit my head on the faucet. FML
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Top comments
WordBea 23
More like FHL. You got action but she got 3 stitches :(
Jeremiah722 19
Got a little too excited there
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Comments (68)
WordBea 23
More like FHL. You got action but she got 3 stitches :(
TheElectrician 13
I don't think that was the kind of action he wanted though. It is mostly FHL.
jake_braves 25
At least you got some action. Sounds fun. But sucks for her.
Jeremiah722 19
Got a little too excited there
Smurphy121 23
At least she didn't say you beat her.
Kermy1113 23
Maybe you can make it up to her later?
Sangue0608 26
Just not in the shower! lol
CoolCookie210 22
I hope she's alright!
SarkasticGenius 7
Add 3 more stitches to the bitch. Kidding, don't do that. I'd be pretty proud.
Soninuva 41
Calm down, Chris Brown.
chinaski7628 32
Why would you be proud you hurt your wife-- even accidentally?
Algorithm 24
This comment is ******* awful.
SarkasticGenius 7
Not proud of her injury, but of mentioning how she got it ........
twister45 17
Now everyone hates you
paintedchocolate 30
Guess you should grab a handle of the conversation and bar her from speaking as quickly as possible before embarrassment hits you at full force.
Sangue0608 26
No, just no.
jenninator93 18
oh god, this comment tried way too hard.. *cringe*
paintedchocolate 30
What? You're saying the brilliancy of the puns didn't leave you in stitches???? ...Yah, sorry about that. Won't happen again, promise.
iAlissa 34
Sounds like a pretty poor grab bar. What would happen if an elderly person slipped, they went to grab it, and it came down with them? Hope your wife is okay though!
pokemyeyes 23
Probably the same thing that has already happened?!
VeganDarkLight 31
Well, considering elderly people's bones tend to break easier and they are often weaker (so getting up would be harder), the scenario could've been a lot worse. (Of course I'm not saying all older people are like that!)
ZoroMiHawk 25
who gives a potato what others think, not like you did anything embarrassing anyway. Infact they were probably jealous ;)
andreitaxx89 13
Nobody gives potatoes nowadays.. ?
LMAO__no 15
someone can give me a potato...
gracehi 33
I'd like a potato, please. :)
iAlissa 34
Make mine French fries please
ukeandfoodislife 19
That sounds like a safety problem at the hotel. See if you can file a lawsuit to cover hospital bills and stuff. If it's from a chain company like Holiday Inn or something, you can get a lot of money for stuff like that. Hope your wife is recovering well
Patriots21 14
There's always one of you out there calling for a lawsuit. She has 3 stitches, not broken bones or severe burns. And they were fooling around in the shower so who knows how it happened.
Jowisee 29
And if one of them had been elderly they could have fallen and died. If he could pull that bar from the wall then it won't hold someone's weight and therefore isn't fitted properly.
jenninator93 18
I agree to an extent.. I don't like the "oh something small happened, sue them for everything they've got!" mindset, but I would definitely see if the hotel would cover any out of pocket costs from the doctor.