Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
idefka
Today, I found myself lying to my diary. FML
Holly
United States
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Anonymous
Liar !
Today, I lied and told my friends I was a compulsive liar. Well, I think I lied. FML
ThunderThighs
Flemington, United States
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Anonymous
Jakarta, Indonesia
Can't take the L
Today, I lied to my father. I told him I got money yesterday. In fact, I just got fired yesterday. I kept a really happy jolly voice when I spoke to him on the phone. FML
Fatass
Knoxville, United States
Today, I lied to the cashier at my local store, saying that I was "nominated to buy the candy for the party" when in actuality I went home and gorged on it alone. FML
Hungry
Brisbane, Australia
Cheat day
Today, I conveniently "forgot" to write down a bunch of stuff, including a huge kebab, in my Weight Watchers food journal. FML
LP
United States
Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML
jammy
United States
Don't attempt this
Today, after I completely starved myself for a week and exercised every day in an attempt to lose weight, I instead gained 5 pounds. FML
mattlikesfunions
Federal Way, United States
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Top comments
shithappens2memo 0
why? who else reads it?
i_wuz_nver_here 31
she's cheating on her diary with a sexy little journal.
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Comments (221)
jose18 3
thats just sad and pathetic
sexylol_fml 4
Go on a diet? I can't help ya!
KEB13 4
this is probably the funniest FML I've read :P
iyazwoodfle 4
I'd do this:l after going on a diet:dear diary, sorry I lied to u on 4/25/2011, I'm not that thin, but I sure am now!
courtsx 0
I've done that before don't worry. It's so that when you read it back you don't feel embarrassed.
fayola 2
it baffles me that people post FMLs like this that happened entirely through their own choice. if you're gonna complain that your life sucks afterwards, then why do it in the first place?
hubla 0
and you people from the u.k. always say Americans are fatties
thebangzfan 10
i know right!
Amanda452 0
That's kinda sad.. If you feel you need to lose weight, you should get the zumba dvds.. my mom ordered them and they're really fun and you can definitly feel your abs burning
Lexi_Paige16 0
Wow really
raytaybinks 0
someone PLEASE tell me how this made FML