Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML
Today, for my boyfriend's 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit, and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML
Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML
Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my husband decided to surprise me with some "sexy" manscaping. When he took his clothes off, I immediately got drier than the Sahara desert. He was going for "porn star" but instead looked like a prepubescent kid, which immediately turned me off. He then got mad at me for “ruining the mood.” FML
Today, wanting to surprise my boyfriend, I shaved everything "down there." When he saw the result, he burst out laughing and said I looked like a plucked chicken. FML
Today, I get to see my boyfriend again after a month. So I decided to shave my pubic hair in the shape of a heart. After my little striptease, he gasped in admiration "Aaaw, Batman sign!" FML
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Top comments
Zodaicz 4
...I wonder if he shaved his pubes to look like a chest.
ulicksam 0
It's hair. The rest can be shaved and it'll all grow back. No wonder he did all that - He's trying to instill a sense of humor in you but obviously it's now working. FHL.
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Comments (222)
ridder215 7
Sux to be you
itsgonnahappento 11
say: "that's the closest to a penis your gonna have"
CryMoreFMLs 15
I see what you did there #1!
CryMoreFMLs 15
I see what you did there #1!!
Exhausti 0
I see what you did there #1!
Exhausti 0
I see what you did there #1!!
kyarush 10
that... is... AWESOME!
Sadochan 0
Totally ******* cool.
fluffyzoe64 2
Seriously, I understand it may have been weird, but I laughed when I read this!
TheWazBe 0
Hmm, did he have the penis pointing toasted his mouth?
EatnBeef 7
I guess he can **** you twice ?
GiggidyPants 0
he is one hardcore ************
tktom7 6
did it point to his mouth or his other head?
T3P33_fml 0
and was it wearing a condom?
kazumaslayer666 3
like a boss
T9FTW 20
SUX HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!1! No.
jltstephens 0
do I make you Randy ?!?!? do I make your horny baby ?!?
Zodaicz 4
...I wonder if he shaved his pubes to look like a chest.
bariforlife 0
hahaha lol
welandedonthemoo 5
good one lol
lilash1 0
lmao^
takemethere 0
very good one!
quent10 0
interesting...
tyhod123 4
lmfao
musicsadyingart 12
Charlie Sheen approves. WIN!
JHawk22 0
haha probably
pancakerocks 1
brillant!
SupermanXL 3
nice
BigHoshJosh 0
gotta catch em all
hellsoldier23 0
ha lol win!!!
alymm99 0
lololol (;
xDinox_fml 0
That's disturbing... xD Lol
AsianCookie247 14
yes it is!
missory_missouri 0
Now, laugh and say,"You wish it were that big!"
slightlypyro1996 4
So, you guys don't do that? Well at least I'm not the only one...
I_Iz_Emo 0
Why was he stripping in the first place, you should be dancing and stripping for him. That way he won't feel he has to shave his chest hair so it's like a penis
No_LoveMM 3
What? All guys don't do that? Sounds normal to me.
MariaxMayhem 0
hii
chupacabra141 9
Austin powers...
FallonFerSure 6
Sounds sexy ;)
LolFYLS 0
right that's a win for her not an fml
nikkamad 0
agreed
anonymous595 0
u are:-)
FatElie 0
It was cute, then it turned romantic
ulicksam 0
It's hair. The rest can be shaved and it'll all grow back. No wonder he did all that - He's trying to instill a sense of humor in you but obviously it's now working. FHL.
intheboot 0
poor guy. sounds like a lot of thought and effort wasted.
kmarrs 2
I agree 100% It's hair. That is usually covered. It isn't like he shaved the hair on his head into the shape of a penis.
Trent_21 6
ya the gf here is purty a jerk . her bf was jus trying to make her laugh.
vegan_muffin 5
Agreed. She should be lucky her boyfriend has enough chest hair to even do this.
CatEyes66 0
I think I would enjoy seeing this
kenny2008 0
hey Wats da name of the character u have as ur pic
docscientist 10
Jessica Rabbit
Jackmangold 0
now he's looking up ****
Jackmangold 0
now he's looking up ****
ganksta_ikm 1
haha win
Pawned71 0
LOLOLOL
sbharani96 4
Gay.
CaughRedHanded 0
how manly :0 pffft. Let's face it, American guys just can't beat the British sex symbol XD
uncbballwins 0
maybe, but we can beat your teeth
sumrem 0
British guys are so hot
jltstephens 0
46. could you not think of anything better than Chubsey-ubsey ? that was lame as shit ! but then again what would you expect from a brit.
jltstephens 0
Hahahaha did I make the little Fag angry ? Your probably just bleeding out your ****** because you know you are forced to have sex with your girlfriend that has a ****** more yellow and stanky that your teeth while I am over In America enjoying my freedoms and having sex with my hot ass blonde girlfriend with massive double D ****. You can suck my massive TEXAS size dick you fagity ****** loving, Jew cop, sheep ******, ass pirate, hippie bitch, cum guzzling, piece of British shit.
SexyMcKittington 3
you mean the Canadian British sex symbol ;)
docscientist 10
Cool, stereotyping.
Suchagoonnn 4
cheerio!
PrincessPwned 0
I always thought the sexiest British man was Robert Pattinson :P
blo0_starZz 0
I feel sorry for you, PrincessPwned.. To think he looks hot, let alone the hottest? The pity...
resbian 0
I think the real fml here is PrincessPwned's comment..
Naomiiiii 0
Yuck! His face is shaped like a crescent moon...
simpleplan239999 1
ewwwww. hellllll no