Today, I got severe diarrhea while out dancing with friends. On my way home, I got hit with the urge again. I couldn't find an open toilet and I had to resort to relieving myself in an alley. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Today, I really haven't been feeling well. Even thought I felt like complete shit, my friends dragged me out to a club. When I got there, I ran into the bathroom and started simultaneously shitting and puking. If I stopped one, the other got worse. I was stuck there for an hour and a half. FML
Today, I was driving home from a friend's house after a night of partying. Suddenly, I had to poop worse than I ever had to in my entire life. The pain was so bad I had to pull over and pretend to be checking my tires while I let out the entire contents of my bowels onto the road. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, I have horrible diarrhea because of IBS. If I was at home, this wouldn't be that big of an issue, but I'm at work and I don't have access to a bathroom all the time. I also found out I have about 10 minutes to get to the toilet or else I'll probably shit myself. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Welshite 40
Next time try opening the lid if all the toilets are closed.
PrincessWinter 18
Look on the brightside, at least you didn't shit your pants.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (21)
bethrh 49
That must've been a really shitty experience
JocelynKaulitz 28
I never thought I would have to say this, but it's more like a "shitty situation." I'll leave now before I get roasted.
Jay18 22
Boi, you fine ass, dark haired having ass, long nosed faced ass, bottom lip smelling like taco meat faced ass, please sit on my face lookin ass, my snapchat gets 26+views pic taking ass
hardcorepunk87 18
Shituation*
Welshite 40
Next time try opening the lid if all the toilets are closed.
socialproduct 19
Or just leave it on the lid for the next person to deal with. Just kinda depends on what kind of mood you're in.
ThrottleJockey 36
Or you could go for an upper decker!
awildwhisper 30
I hope you feel better now, being sick is never fun but at least now you have a really coolish story.
PrincessWinter 18
Look on the brightside, at least you didn't shit your pants.
HoofHeartedBro 14
Bet you found out who your real friends were though.
RichardPencil 32
Luckily, you found an alley that had toilet paper available. No? Oh, wait .... eeeewwww
Redhairchick 10
Napkins in my car thankfully.
torrea 19
Wow, that's shitty luck. lol
wheresthesafety 31
It happens to the best of us
socialproduct 19
Ah yes. The classic tale of having severe diarrhea in an alley. A story as old as time itself.
ApplePie1994 27
Booty and the Beast?
r1has 28
Sounds like you got stuck in a shitty situation. Let's not play fast and loose with those tacos again. Ok I'm done
OhPuhleeze 23
And this is why I think we should all be wearing adult diapers like underwear.