Today, I learned to never blast classic rock with your convertible's top down while passing an SUV full of gangbanger wanna-bes. That is, of course, unless you want your immaculate, newly detailed leather seats to be decorated with pretty brown and white milkshake stains. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I made fun of a girl singing passionately along to a song on her radio while in traffic next to me. She decided that her chocolate milkshake would make a good addition to my brand new seat covers. FML
Today, I gave my new boss a ride, since his car died. I probably should have checked the music before I started the car; I'm not sure hearing "Grandpa pissed his pants again…" as the opener to a song made a good impression on him. FML
Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML
Today, I purchased a new car. On the drive home, gusts of wind blew up debris and pebbles and caused little chips in the paint and small chips on the windshield. FML
Today, I was in my car and stopped at a red light. A homeless woman then started to throw rocks at my car for no apparent reason. I drive a convertible. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I learned that if you're going to light a bottle rocket and throw it out the window of a car, you should roll the window down before you light the bottle rocket. FML
Today, while I was reluctantly driving to work on a Sunday, some guy in a shiny Audi threw a plastic root beer bottle full of urine at my old Toyota. He didn’t even bother to put on the cap on, like a gentleman would. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, I was hanging in the street with the boys, listening to some jams on my car's new speaker system. Some asshole from the apartments above me threw a bag of trash at my car. Direct hit. FML
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Top comments
Aelaena 6
Wow assholes. I hate people like that, I hope you got a license yet that probably wouldn't do much.
zmiddz 0
Gangbangers drink milkshakes?
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Comments (243)
LexSwift 17
Assholes...
brianjman14 23
Haha, 212 is so right. 45, shut the **** up and don't act all cool on the Internet.
brianjman14 23
YDI. 1. You shouldn't blast classic rock (classic rock is so horrible) 2. You shouldn't blast music without your windows down or top off. OP, if I saw you doing that, I would have thrown my drink at you, too.
Cnote231 0
I think any person has the right to blast music. you shouldve turned it to some hard core gangster rap
Sam_13161821 0
Ugh, black people are so stupid.
Kape_fml 4
Umm it never said they were black if it was your own race would you call them stupid or would it just be a bad situation.
scribbles7 0
what a bunch of assholes
jokolopolop 0
ydi for classic rock
ninjkabat 15
Rock on, man. Don't let that stop you. I purposefully start blasting classic jazz when I roll up to gangster wannabees. Sometimes even some real free-form stuff, too.
Kape_fml 4
look at comment #221 at the very bottom
asherah14 7
Leather comes clean so it isn't like they really damaged his car. Yeah it sucked to clean up I'm sure but this isn't criminal, just obnoxious.