Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML
Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML
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Top comments
AugustBurnsToast 14
What comes around goes around eh?
hotPinklipstick 24
That's karma. Why don't you learn to piss on someone your own size.
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Comments (193)
AugustBurnsToast 14
What comes around goes around eh?
airforce987 20
In some restaurants there is a small bug painted on the urinal to help accuracy. In bear grylles' house there is a picture of his face.
KingOfAmazing 9
The big bug was obviously pissed that the OP decided to urinate on his small friend. Probably not as pissed as the small bug, though.
Marcella1016 32
That's funny my first thought was "karma's a bitch"...OP is lucky it didn't involve spiders flying out of the air vent this time.
Pelreskovich 11
Sing it JT!
AugustBurnsToast 14
^Yes!! Peireskovich just wins lol!
Pelreskovich 11
Oh trust me, I nailed that note in my head! :D
Cad6 24
Karma can bug you sometimes.
ThisIsMyReign 4
I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on. I'll take a bug to the eye instead of eating pee'd on unless OP got it on himself.
Pelreskovich 11
57 - Do you eat or drink pee? Like do you freeze it first so you can eat it?
lavitaebella_fml 0
Karma's a bitch, only if you are.
Pandacupcakelove 26
#57 "I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on"? See, here's where the difference between "then" and "than" is very important...
Aquaa_fml 0
What joy did you think you would get from peeing on a bug?
alliewillie 22
"Today, I thought it'd be funny if I..." YDI.
l0v3p4in 7
Revenge of the Bugs!
ThisIsMyReign 4
Stupid auto correct, I forgot what I was meaning to say thought.
MerrikBarbarian 9
77 normally grammar nazis annoy me but you sir made me laugh with that. :)
colliebuddz420 7
Why are there so many bugs in your bathroom?
yearcity 0
actually bugs cant feel pissed or happy or any emotion same with many animals including cows ducks and maybe cats and dogs can feel simple emotion but bugs cant
Pandacupcakelove 26
100 I am not a sir, I'm a miss ;) but thanks!
mrlopez 13
Oh buzz off dude, you know OP is probably having a hard time at the moment... :)
littlemsweirdo 12
Were you bugged?
TheZee 12
I know someone will be planning to write this after reading the comment, so, I am going to get it out of the way. "I see what you did there" -_-... Good one though :)!
lenamartinovic 13
Where*
littlemsweirdo 12
29- don't you mean: EYE see what you did there!
littlemsweirdo 12
34- wait , huh? Your correction is incorrect!
choochee77 0
34-she was right the first time.
Cad6 24
34 - Grammar Nazi fail. Although it's a rare occurrence, this one is exceptionally stupid.
Keyboard_Cat 2
34 - Are you retarded?
nerdlyfe101 4
Hahahahaha 34 comment was funnier than the FML itself Ahaha.
kissmybuttque 0
Were you peeing outside?
abethehonest 4
OP must obviously live in the amazon.
hugsnkissesforu 0
34, Stay in school.
burro_fml 6
34- why would he see what he did WHERE. He would see what he did THERE.
Nerdfightersrule 11
actually, it's were...
ThatOneCanadian 0
it was a trap all along, you fell for it!
xcarxcrashx 9
That's what you get! Btw why do you have so many bugs just flying around your place??
ImABagel 0
OP: Hey, look it's a bug! I should piss on it for some cheap fun! :D Admiral Ackbar: *jumps out of shower* IT'S A TRAP.
Guren 0
Karma said **** you too
jerseyboy732 16
karmas a bitch
smileycupcake62 4
karmas a very large bug
hotPinklipstick 24
That's karma. Why don't you learn to piss on someone your own size.
ghostlilac 25
I think that if OP saw a human-sized bug, his last reaction would be to pee on it.
Pelreskovich 11
I doubt if he were to walk up to someone his own size and piss on them that it'd turn out well, he'd most likely get a black eye instead of a bug to the eye.
Ruffclue 9
Toilet to realize that there is something called Karma.
jonriise18 3
Well... If that's what you're in to...
metalwolf 17
He would still be pissing something if he seen a human size bug, I just doubt it would be on the bug.
dhbeaver 9
ur a ******
smileycupcake62 4
that bug was pissed;) lol
littlemsweirdo 12
I see what you did there! Lol (:
2oc 5
I didn't :(
kcutie 0
Where the hell are you peeing? Outside?
Pelreskovich 11
At least it was your eye and it didn't sting your boy parts!
annihil8or 15
And how do you know the bug could sting?
ahhbeex 8
I hope you feel accomplished for the rest of the day.
hornetsbaseball 6
Haha sucks for u
mhterp90 17
Pick on someone your own size.