Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML
Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML
Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML
Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML
Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML
Today, I was trying to entertain my crush at a party by showing off my juggling skills. I confidently grabbed three random objects, not realizing one was a jar of pickles. Mid-juggle, the jar slipped and shattered, splashing pickle juice all over my crush. She just stared at me in disbelief, while I stood there smelling like vinegar. FML
Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML
Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML
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Top comments
chronicB 19
That money shot
DaRito 25
Well, thanks for warning us!
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Comments (59)
MomentoMori 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why would you squeeze a ketchup bottle?
mif_fml 27
To get the ketchup out.. But why would would squeeze it facing your face is the better question.
jentrynicole 20
You can get bottles that are made of plastic at the grocery store. You squeeze those to get it out.
MomentoMori 23
I know how ketchup bottles work.
MomentoMori 23
Poorly worded question on my part.
atxgus 8
So that ketchup comes out..... ?
weswheatley 14
What question were you trying to ask?
larrena2377 26
I think she's trying to ask why would you squeeze it THAT hard?
Reider022 16
No matter how many down votes you get your comment still made me laugh, not that you should be proud of that though.
chronicB 19
That money shot
Shakazulu1216 13
How does that even happen?
onlychildFTW 34
Me to, I'm curious as to why OP was squeezing ketchup into his mouth in the first place. I just put it on a plate myself.
tormcn 26
They said the plastic broke.. not that it was facing their face. The plastic bottle exploded.. or so that's what I read.
False_Stupidity 42
And ended up on their face, therefore the OP had the ketchup bottle above their face for some reason so the natural assumption is that they were squirting it into their mouth.
gichikku 14
They wouldn't have to have it above their face or facing them. If it explodes it could have exploded on the side or the bottom, which would result in a backfire to the face.
venomousflower 24
You live and you learn haha
jentrynicole 20
I'm really surprised that's possible. What a messy situation.
Fishin_for_Coins 7
Why where you holding it to your face?
chinaski7628 32
I was thinking the bottom part exploded when the bottle broke and that's how ketchup got everywhere. I could be wrong, though.
kmaheynoway 25
Exactly. Nowhere does it say it was facing him. The pressure of explosion could have caused it to go everywhere, including his face.
jberg583 12
Everything about this says YDI
NutellaCongress 10
be proud op! I know I couldn't break a ketchup bottle! You must be really strong
Tthug 34
It probably had more to do with faulty manufacturing/subpar materials/damage to the bottle than strength.
50_shades_of_idc 8
Why would you be squeezing a ketchup bottle that hard on the first place?
Tournesol143 28
Thanks for sharing this, OP. This has to truly be a classic FML. I can't help but see the visual created by your description!