Today, I was cleaning my bathroom, and accidentally spilled bleach, ruining my shower curtain, rugs, and towels. While attempting to wipe up the bleach, I knocked over a bottle of shower cleaner. It read, "WARNING: DO NOT MIX WITH BLEACH." I still can't go in the house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while helping my wife clean the bathroom, I stepped in a puddle of neat bleach she'd randomly left by the shower door. I washed it off straight away but now an hour later I have burns on the bottom of my foot and can’t put weight on it. FML
Today, while I was trying to put my high fluoride toothpaste on my toothbrush, I miscalculated the pressure and ended up squirting a massive glob all over the bathroom cabinet and a rug that was on the floor. My stepmom says if we can't get the bleach stain out of the brown rug, I'm going to have to replace it. FML
Today, my girlfriend offered to wash the bathroom while I was at work. I came back home to find her feeling unwell with a bad headache. She had mixed drain cleaner with bleach because she thought it would make the bathroom cleaner. Now my entire house is a mini gas chamber. FML
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML
Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML
Today, my very sheltered girlfriend decided to surprise me by cleaning our apartment. Although she grew up with housekeepers and maids, I thought it was common knowledge that you don’t try cleaning the bathroom with both bleach and ammonia. We still can’t go back inside our place. FML
Today, I got industrial toilet cleaner in my eyes. Despite the raging fire party going on behind my eyelids, I resisted the urge to stop, drop, and roll, and calmly got in the shower to wash it off. Wherein I promptly slipped, fell, and whacked my head full-force on the bathtub on the way down. FML
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
Today, after dealing with tons of drama and working a 14 hour shift, I took a shower. When I stepped out, a weak spot in the floor gave way. While falling through the floor I grabbed the toilet tank lid, which fell into the tank and broke it. Now my leg hurts and the bathroom's flooded. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
****! that is really dangerous! Poisonous gasses everywhere lol.
taylorrswift 0
Why would you have those things right next to each other...
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Comments (67)
10thPrestige 0
First;DD
NitroTonicsFML 4
No one will give a shit.
Thanatos1206 0
Five bucks says this gets removed.
FuttBuck 0
And last to get laid
killjoy64 4
sounds fake
ona16 22
no it could be real some chemicals mixed with bleach can make chlorine gas
ILoveEggnog 7
There is a wide variety of poisonous gases that you can make using standard household cleaning products.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I once made a crazy concoction with bleach, vodka, absinthe and lemon pledge. I took one shot and woke up 3 days later in Mexico with a tequila cap imbedded in my ass.
TheDrifter 24
You sure it wasn't a coke bottle? I do believe Doc has pictures.
impregnator 0
Lois stayed by my crib for those 3 days.
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
you son of a bitch!! il kill you, but first i'll impregnate you then kill you with my fist!!!
khaya 9
So this means you got rid of the hooker's body?
lmfao1643 3
Bleech and amonia mixed make mustard gas, dont try it though.
MfailK 0
I bet it smells great
Rosalie_Haostn 0
smells hoooorrible.
AirsoftKY 0
if you drink bleach, you WILL DIE!, in a chemist
killjoy64 4
I ment what are the odds of it saying that
Kefka91 15
114. but... bleach is water and we are water, therefore we are bleach.
JDMdude 0
yea but the so called water has chemicals in it sooo ya
dragonstrike94 8
So? There are poisonous gasses in my restroom all the time;)
alychick 5
I have a feeling his name is killjoy for a reason
tuxedoandex 28
Bleach isn't water, I don't know exactly what it is but it's very basic substance while water is neutral. The fact that bleach is very basic is what makes it dangerous.
Thanatos1206 0
Looks like more cleaning for you!
ExpensiveToy 0
viral <3 oops sorry for the o.t....
Thanatos1206 0
"o.t."?
Norsk_Emily 8
O.t. - Original toaster. (;
marinus_fml 20
****! that is really dangerous! Poisonous gasses everywhere lol.
ydi_4_suking 20
oh no. killer mustard gas
Thanatos1206 0
You're forgetting the ketchup gas.
Frelling 0
Poisonous gases in the bathroom.
pizzasammy 0
If the other cleaner was sulfur based (I believe from personal experimentation, sodium hypochlorite just makes everything smell better), possessed hydrochloric or acetic acid, the reaction between the two would produce some wonderful chlorine has... It really clears the nasal passages if one has a cold or suffers from seasonal allergies. It also burns the inside of your body and performs many other delightfully destructive acts. On a more hopeful/positive side, perhaps the op was being ridiculous and spilled hydrogen peroxide everywhere and produced oxygen gas and some tasty salt water, (s)he could drink it! (Disclaimer: I don't recommend attempting that, common house hold bleach also contains many oxidizers that shouldn't be injected... unless you've grown tired of this terrestrial plane of existence in which case I suggest a small dose of potassium cyanide dissolved in a glass of water. It must be one of the most peaceful ways to go.)
pizzasammy 0
*gas, not has. :( Sincerest apologies.
ICaughtFire 4
pizzasammy - I wasted two minutes of my time reading your comment, but it was well worth it.
allmidnighteyes 11
I believe you also meant to say ingested rather than injected.
Ryanfmlfiend 0
good call 32
gutzzzz 0
I thought waste and worth were opposites.... so since they cancel each other out, all you did was say it took you two minutes to read that comment, congrats :) I wasted 30 second writing this reply, but it was worth it :P
RedPillSucks 33
either one would be "A Bad Thing™"
pizzasammy 0
Icaughtfire- I'm glad you found it worthy of said time. Sharing knowledge is how we all grow. :D Yes, I did mean ingested... I must learn how to proof read properly before sounding like a fool... : /
poppyseed420 9
it's ok sammy, your awesomeness makes up for your lack of grammer
daydreamerxo 5
lmfao win
PSQ91 6
Be glad you made it out in time.
trimmerr 1
why, you didn't
PSQ91 6
lolwut?
trimmerr 1
why, did you not make it out in time?
Nimmrodel 11
Clumsy people chemicals don't mix, you're the living proof.
Altosax 4
A rare case because usually clumsy people+chemicals=dead proof.
taylorrswift 0
Why would you have those things right next to each other...
cldean24 4
My thought exactly. Why the heck would someone bring out all their cleaning chemicals at once?! lol
ballwiz24 0
to clean...
NCR 0
^win
Redneck42 0
She's not very smart.
heatherlorinxox 0
why would OP have all the chemicals out at once...and have them all opened?..
ShadowlessSpear 21
To clean.
Codezlol 21
Ruuuuunnnnnnn!!!!!
Perksofbeingawal 0
FFFAAAIIILLLLL!!!!!!!!! xD Just kidding, I cannot STAND when people say that. Ew, I feel weird now. Asdfhekekwwlej. ;/
Grimmerie 31
I hate it when people say asdfhekekwwlej. asdfhekekwwlej ... blast! I'm one of •you people• now ...
gutzzzz 0
I hate when you people say "you people" shit.... it's a pandemic!!!!
atthegates 0
I hate when people suck at making jokes
Bekll 31
I hate when people state the obvious.
Inhumanfrost 0
FAIL!!! Just for being obnoxious.
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I ha- C-C-Combo Breaker :P
ChibiGirl5 0
lol
a7x_RoCk3r 12
I hate when people try to be funny by continuing an "I hate" list.
Perksofbeingawal 0
I hate haters, but haters gon' hate...
passwordusername 0
i hate people.
ShadowlessSpear 21
I hate.
PeteyPablo12308 20
Doesn't that make mustard gas? Whatever kind of gas it makes, it's really deadly. FYL OP.
unidentified_sta 5
If the cleaner had ammonia in it, OP might have just made Chlorine gas. Browsing a bit for ammonia x bleach mixtures yields something morbidly humorous. There is more than one way apparently to kill yourself from the mixture.
grizzly260 0
Yes it makes hydrochloric acid AKA mustard gas.