Today, I learned that, when you ask your girlfriend "Do you think we're having sex too often?" she might interpret it as, "I don't think we should have sex ever again," and entirely stop talking to you. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend complained that we never have sex anymore. The only way she ever wants sex is missionary, with barely any foreplay. When I asked if we could spice things up and mentioned a few simple ideas, she said the conversation was making her uncomfortable and changed the subject. FML
Today, after sex, my wife of three months said, "You know, sex isn't as good now that we're married… Maybe we should take a break." I said we should spice things up. She said, firmly, "No, let's stop" and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to have a conversation about sex. After she finished telling me what she liked, in exact detail, I said, "Well, I really like…" She cut me off and said, "I don't give a fuck what you like." FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, after a big argument, my girlfriend looked me dead in the eyes and said, "I can go the rest of my life without sex, you know." FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML
Today, my fiancée told me that she thinks she's asexual. Guess I know why we haven't had sex in months. When I said this was a deal breaker, she said, "If you'd stop being a horny pig for five seconds, it wouldn't be." FML
Today, my wife always told me she loved sex too much to ever give it up. I don’t know what’s happened recently but she’s now angry for no reason, bitter at the world, makes me suffer just for existing, and yes, she’s cancelled all intimacy and sex for the foreseeable future. FML
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Top comments
FusionPlacebo 26
Is it bad to have lots of sex with her? Why'd you even ask that, of course she's bound to get offended by it
Kitty_Kat44 31
Shouldn't have asked.
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Comments (97)
EvilVein 15
No matter how much, too much is never enough...
BigC_from_Bama 16
Think of it this way. You gotta get it while the gettings good. And I think it just got bad.
socialproduct 19
And the consensus is: that was a stupid thing to ask your girlfriend
vikky538 29
A question which should never be asked
MSCCG 16
Come on, rookie mistake. Should have said something like "are we only having sex so much because I'm always asking for it? Can I do anything better?" Always frame it as your problem.
dakatabg 31
Wow that sounds brutal
Camo23 21
One doesn't simply have too much sex.
gc327072 31
If she really cares about you, and not just your dick, she would've been open to discussion. Hopefully she'll come around, if not, FYL
munchly 17
No idea why you would ask that! Sex all the time doesn't last forever! Should have just enjoyed it while it lasted OP! YDI
Laylette 21
If it starts to take over the relationship, too much sex is a problem.
FrenchToastKick 18
Why the **** would you complain about having too much sex?? There is no such thing.