Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zombiepeanut 0
That's total abuse of power.
skullbuster 0
So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (402)
blazerback11 0
happened to me too
Goz_fml 0
Man, They don't care if you say no! to them your hiding something.but any way our law enforcements are nothing more than wanbe somebodies who go home and beat their wives cause their lives are a bunch of shit.1/2 the time their busting ppl for the samething they are doing too.
sfgfan10 0
actually, it's the law. they can arrest you if you don't consent to being searched in a few cases.
aymaureen 0
get his ass fired, he deserves it. thats just straight up unconstitutional. as for #32, how ignorant of you, congrats on being an idiot racist.
Jaguaress 2
And yet another reason why I dislike cops so strongly. Just because they're officers of the law, it doesn't mean that they can search any darn thing they like. And just because you refuse, it doesn't mean that you have something to hide. Definitely complain to whatever board or city managers would be over something like that. My city has a civilian panel to keep officers in check; maybe your city has something like that, too.
smellymeaty 0
Okay, this FML has FAR too little info to make a judgment call. It doesn't provide the location or situation. This officer could have had a warrant to the person's house and just to be a dick, they blocked the doorway and resisted the search. Or, on the flip side of the coin, this could have been a random act by the officer just demanding a search and cuffing you without reason.
cmac86 24
you'd do well to watch some episodes of traffic stops and car chases on tru tv. I've never been pulled over but I know what to say because of the show. but ydi for obviously having something to hide.
Kdaniels06 0
You are absolutely correct. It is a safety precaution as well as when we give them the "saw" and "left, right center, hold" searchs which are not fun at all.
joeydboy123 0
what a stupid fml, not entertaining at all
biskitbukit 7
You ******* idiot. Shouldn't have said anything.
tzecco 2
I'll go with a YDI. Seriously, the cop did nothing wrong on this one.
dontaskdonttell 0
I know this is going to be late in the read, and most won't see it anyway, but here goes: In the USA it is ILLEGAL for the cops to search your vehicle without reason and/or a warrant. It is also ILLEGAL for them to place you under arrest without reason. If they had no real reason to search your car, refusing to allow them to search is not reason enough for either the search or the arrest. Example: My husband was driving along when he is pulled over for "Improper Display of Tags" because his temporary tag fell down in the back window. Nothing suspicious, and once the Tag was once again properly taped up, not even a ticket earning offense. The cop then asks to search the vehicle, to which my husband politely replies, "No". The Cop then attempts to bully my husband with threats of arrest and drug dogs if he does not comply. My husband responds, and this is key, "Am I under arrest? And if so under what charges?" He is told he is not under arrest, which lets my husband know this cop has a time limit. He has to get something done within 45 minutes of the stop (where we live specifically, can't say this is nation wide), or let my husband GO FREE. Because Refusing a search is NOT probable cause and this cop cannot get a search warrant on a "No" to his request to search the car. The cop calls drug dogs, who don't show up within the half hour, and lets my husband go free. Because he cannot legally hold him. THIS is all the proof I need that you cannot be arrested for this ALONE. I cannot account for any variables in the OP's situation. HOWEVER: At this point you have to be very calm and not do ANYTHING that can get you arrested!! They will find the tiniest excuse once you refuse search!
GilPanda 0
Uh, no. You NEVER need a warrant to search a car. It's in the seven exceptions to the search warrant.