Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML
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Top comments
zombiepeanut 0
That's total abuse of power.
skullbuster 0
So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...
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Comments (402)
retardthinkswhat 3
Ya? What the hell is your point?
KorbenDeck 5
Its much like refusing to do a road side sobriety test; you have the rights to refuse, but once you do he has to arrest you and bring you back to the station
slack3r9 0
heres my take, should he have refused it? possibly not, if you dont have anything to hide, why not? thing is, we dont know the situation. why did he ask for the search? was the cop being an asshole? if he said it in a demeaning "im trying to be a dick" way, then say no. however, the cops do have the right to detain you until a search warrant is approved. whether he was allowed to handcuff you, im not sure, but they can keep you there until one is approved (so if it was the middle of the night, you would have to wait until courts were open the next morning). now in response to a previous poster, if the guy looks like hes being a dick and you have objects of value in the car, i would want a written statement that any and all objects damaged will be reimbursed monetarally. a consent to search doesnt mean "destroy all my belongings". so i gotta give you a FYL and a YDI on this one for both sides
jasziiexjanae 0
@# EVERYBODY! Why do you guys take these so seriously? Just read it, laugh and move on! What's with all the long paragraphs?
clyde_fml 0
isn't it required by law that you have a warrant before you're allowed to search anybody?
I_am_stupid_also 6
No, if they have probable case and reason to believe that evidence will be destroyed, then they can search in places consistent with the evidence they have so far. The rules are more loose outside your home than inside your home.
mobius8sucksdik 0
Will someone PLEASE just kill mobius!! I am sick of listening to his constant mouth when I am trying to read the comments. It's too bad that I can't just ignore all of his inane pig-loving comments.
ClickClickCamera 0
you CAN say no to a car search but that's how they get around it
mobius8sucksdik 0
and now mobius is resorting to correcting spelling and grammar. Please die already you miserable little ****!
AnaMaree 0
Oops?
MsSippi 0
Cops suck. This reminds me of the other day at work, a cop came in and asked if a man had been trying to sell us paintings, I said yes and he asked me which way the man went. After I informed him I did not know, he assured me that he had blocked his car in so he wasn't going to get away and I thought "Thank God the police department is keeping citizens safe from 'vendors without licenses' trying to make a buck off of painting in times of economic crisis. God bless America." Sorry I guess that didn't pertain to the post very much.