Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy. It’s a little awkward so I went to the bathroom to do two bumps of coke, came back to the table, and realized it was ketamine. I didn’t tell him, but I was so fucked up, he offered to get me an Uber home but I told him I called my mom to pick me up instead. He left and unmatched me. FML
Today, I was supposed to go on a date with my attractive and seemingly charming neighbor. Yesterday, his house was raided and he was arrested for running a heroin ring. FML
Today, after an amazing date with a girl I like at a restaurant, I realized I foolishly forgot my wallet. When I returned, I spotted my date at another table on a date with a different guy. I also wasn’t able to find my wallet. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML
Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML
Today, a first date with a guy went so badly that he actually paid me to never call him again. FML
Today, I had a date with a girl I've liked for a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant for dinner. I was obviously going to pay, but when the bill came I realized I'd forgotten my wallet. When I told her, she thought I was a cheap liar and now she won't answer my calls. FML
Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML
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Top comments
Rixxieee 0
Ever thought that MAYBE you POSSIBLY left the $40 at the restaurant, leaving it to pay for the bill but ACCIDENTALLY paying too much without noticing? You shouldn't just jump to the conclusion that your date stole it just because they take/took drugs.
ChefFrenchie 0
ewwwww well look at it this way, at least now you don't have to waste your time on a 2nd date
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Comments (70)
ChefFrenchie 0
ewwwww well look at it this way, at least now you don't have to waste your time on a 2nd date
p00p0ster0us 0
Oh wow. What a crap-ass way to use you. Imagine, dating women to steal money from them. Wow. That guy has one foot in the grave.
inbloom_fml 0
was your date pete doherty? fyl.
kynzilla 0
I died lol'ing.
yougetmecloserto 0
If the film industry has taught us anything, its that heroin addicts are young sexy Ewan Gregor-lookalikes, I wouldn't fuss if I were you.
grammar_nazi 0
wtf
master565 0
at least it wasn't that much money
snowieflake 0
no kidding. at least it was only $40... he could have stolen your credit cards or even more cash... but yeah, FYL
freakdiablo 0
@19 With her credit card it would have been fairly easy to walk into a store and get cash back. It's kind of sad, but I've been to stores that don't check the name on the card.
humorizer 14
Yeah, only if you know the pin number...
master565 0
the mone he stole was to pay for recovery
deathbunny256 0
What a ********
master565 0
the mone he stole was to pay for recovery
figuremeout 0
People suckk sorry grl at least it wasnt alot
nattylight 0
how did you meet the guy. he obviously is a piece of shit. if you see him again you should kick him in the balls. lol