Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML
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Top comments
zombiepeanut 0
That's total abuse of power.
skullbuster 0
So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...
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Comments (402)
justanotherhuman 21
YDI, you didn't have to consent to any search. Protip: the *second* a police officer asks you to step out of the vehicle, do so, but lock the doors before closing yours and pocket your keys. Keep your hands in plain sight. Ignore their inference-based assumptions and ask the officer what you're being detained for, and if you're not under arrest, ask if you are free to leave. Repeat this until the officer cites why he has detained you, or lets you go. If the former occurs, you are still within your legal rights to refuse consent to any searches. Probable cause almost *never* holds up in court, and only does when you consent to a search and they then find something that *is* illegal. You do not have to provide the officer with a reason as to why you are refusing consent. Never offer up information, only answer their questions and ask questions of your own. Always be as polite as possible, regardless of how rude any specific officer may be.
justanotherhuman 21
err, addendum: I retract the YDI. Makes no sense when taken into context of the post. This was an FYL because you simply chose to exercise your constitutional rights.
ProfMus 0
Excuse me, @316
C3PO_fml 0
Alright i respect cops and all... but their jobs are to serve and PROTECT. finding past due inspections or cracked winshields... isn't their job. that isnt protecting us in any way. Its just taking money out of our pockets and giving us headaches for stupid reasons..
je3bu5 2
YDI... when you sign up for your license you sign a contract consenting to searches by the police in the event that you are pulled over. If you decline the search, you get arrested... And then they search incident to arrest... Either way, you're getting searched fool...
daganliberal 0
Rise above authority
crpleprone91 0
they can only search your car if they have probable cause and the only thing u consent to is a breathalyzer test (idk if i spelled that right)
albinorhino 0
Number 347 :)
ndiesal 0
It's best to just let them search. If you have nothing to hide, then you should have no problem letting them search. If you do have something you would want to hide, it's best to be honest about it - they might cut you a break. YDI
Elchin_fml 0
BULLSHIT! NEVER let them search you! Even if small, there is a chance that there can be something in your car/property you dont know about! And it could be that cop is not very honest, and he/she will throw something on you on purpose! Go to flexyourrights.com for more info about this.
Elchin_fml 0
OP did the right thing, and if police handcuffed him, it was the clear case of abuse, he should report it.
Socomsnake 11
If the officer did not have Probable Cause, then he cannot search you nor handcuff you legally. I'd sue the precinct.