Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML
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Top comments
zombiepeanut 0
That's total abuse of power.
skullbuster 0
So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...
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Comments (402)
slagger123 0
******* PIGS, YOU CAN ALL BURN IN HELL!!!
Allaineyyy 0
I always wondered what would happen if you said no to a search. I guess i know now. Thanks OP. Oh, and FYL.
d4m4s74 12
it's illegal to search a car or a home without consent, a warrant or probable cause, too bad many cops think not consenting is probable cause
KennKenn 0
sounds sexual
GirthLongfello 0
isn't America free??? oh wait it's not haha
mwebb 2
Refusing a search is like refusing a breathalyzer test. In SOME states it is reason enough to arrest. With probable cause, can officer can and will take you in.
LovelyGirl9 0
The 4th amendment clearly allows you to say that. Arresting you is unnecessary unles they search you with a warrant. I hate cops.
kickkinit 2
You can actually get the police officer in trouble. Unless he had reason to search, like your car smelled of marijuana, he has no right to go against your wish and search anyway.
teddi76 2
In anyone with half a brains terms telling someone they do not have a right to search means you're an idiot who has something to hide so the only way you'll find out what it is by arresting me to take away those rights. You're such a half brain idiot you probably said that first thing so they knew something was in the car. YDI for being that idiot btw and I can't believe people say it sucks for you. They're probably druggies like yourself who tried that before and LOST.
sinner92 4
You must be a cop. Or want to be...... Maybe you just have a fascination with doughnuts.