Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML
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Top comments
zombiepeanut 0
That's total abuse of power.
skullbuster 0
So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...
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Comments (402)
chimmy 0
ah yes, harvey. because i believe in our constitutionally protected rights, i am a terrorist... you sound like you are from the MIAC, which declared libertarians "possible terrorists" because they actually believe the constitution is worth upholding. i am actually a very productive and successful citizen, and even though ive never even touched an illegal drug and i have nothing to hide, i would not consent to a search. the only way that would be for the "good" would be if i was a criminal. and even criminals have the right to refuse a warrantless search, plead the 5th (no self-incrimination.) refusing to consent to a search is an important right. whether or not they handcuff you is beside the point. the founding fathers guaranteed these rights for a reason
ski309 0
http://www.flexyourrights.org/frequently_asked_questions#02
Shippicus 0
I would have done the same thing. I don't want random people rifling through my personals at home, so why would I let them go through them if they are in my car? Cops are for the most part just normal people, and just like normal people I want them out of my personal life.
Marcela93 0
Ok I'm tired of people bad mouthing cops, yes there are cops who abuse their power this one is an example but that does not mean that all cops are bad
Raivyn_Grimm 9
It's true. There's a lot of stereotyping going on here. "ALL COPS ARE BAD COPS" is kind of like saying (and don't take offense to this it's just to put it in perspective) "ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE BAD". Or, from the argument standpoint that black people do not choose to be black, and cops do choose to be cops, then here's another comparison; "ALL LAWYERS ARE SLEAZY ASSHOLES". It's just not true. Look at the human race as a whole - we have members who are essentially the epitome of selflessness and purity and goodness, and we also have physical manifestations of evil. Human beings have the widest range of "alignment" (pardon my geekiness) of any known species. In short - Don't generalize, guys. It makes you no better than every other bigot, racist, and all-around supremicist.
baileycw 0
no it's not, you're still an idiot for letting him do it in the first place
smellymeaty 0
Cops are assholes? More like those cops are assholes. I've had experience with the police, and in all situations they have been very kind and respectful towards me and those accompanying me.
Jpinkkiss 0
not all cops are bad just some cops have power that goes to their heads and then they abuse it you should probably report it to the police station if you think the cop overreacted lol :)
dramakat11 0
I've met a lot of asshole cops who don't listen to a ******* thing people say and use any excuse to **** people over. Last year my bf accidentally opened the door for the cops without looking through the peephole because of a noise complaint and they came right in and tackled our friend who was dancing in the background. They searched the house and found alcohol in the freezer and then breathalyzed all of us (finding only a very very small amount of alcohol in me and my boyfriend's systems) and arrested us for underage drinking. My boyfriend very politely asked what gave them the right to just come in and tackle our friend and they cuffed him and told him he was spending the night in jail. I then started crying softly and they told me if I didn't stop crying they would take me to jail too. They also kept ridiculing our incoherent, drunk friend mercilessly and made fun of my apartment's decorations, furniture, and messiness. They weren't trying to "protect and serve" at all. They were taking every cheap shot they could and being total dicks for no reason. What *******.
iTunesAddict 0
YDI. Completely and totally. When you get your license, you automatically consent to any searches.
chimmy 0
Not true, iTunes. Check the rules again. You never have to consent.
justanotherhuman 21
...reread the laws there, McCoy. Having a license means you automatically consent to any sobriety tests, not searches.
GilPanda 0
Seven exceptions to the search warrant-- - Plain View--cop can see something. - Exigent Circumstances--fleeing felon, likely destruction of evidence, or serious danger to life - Caretaker--you can take something to protect it - Consent--duh. - Incident to arrest--If they're getting arrested, you can search 'em. - Inventory--Say if you're arresting someone, you can go into their car and put things in inventory for safekeeping. or something like that. - MOTOR VEHICLE STOPS--they don't have to get a warrant because vehicles are so movable. My guess is that the cop had to take him into investigative detention? Not totally certain, though. Not enough details.
ObadiahtheSlim 2
You should probably look up probable cause. Being a dick to the cop will make him be a hardass and overlook some of the finer details of probable cause. Jim Carrey said it best (because it's relevant to many of the posts here) STOP BREAKING THE LAW ASSHOLE!