Today, I learned that "Officer, I do not consent to any searches" means "Officer, please handcuff me, I am trying to be difficult" in cop speak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was arrested. The policeman threw me to the ground because I wouldn't answer his questions. This was after he told me I had the "right to remain silent". FML
Today, my friend was pulled over and told to get out of the car. The officer motioned for me to get out of the car too so I reached behind me to get my shoes. He then pointed his gun at my face and frantically asked my friend if I had a gun. My friend calmly replied, "No, but shoot him anyway." FML
Today, I tried to impress a cute cop at a coffee shop by holding the door for her and saying, “You’re under arrest… for stealing my heart.” She deadpan replied, “That’s harassment, sir.” FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, I was at a party when the cops showed up. They asked whether anyone had a gun, but I heard "fun" instead and raised my hand. I got searched. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was, if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, I tried to put my seatbelt on. For some reason, it absolutely refused to click. I got frustrated, gave up, and just went on without it. I then got pulled over for not wearing it. I said to the officer, "Stupid question: can you TRY to put my seatbelt on?" He did. With no trouble. What did I do different? FML
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Top comments
zombiepeanut 0
That's total abuse of power.
skullbuster 0
So you clicked either the 'YES' or the 'NO' button on this one? Really? When is your guest spot on Oprah? Can I send you a self-addressed stamped envelope so I can get your autograph? I'm going to frame that shit and take down my autographed cigar from Bill Clinton and put your's in it's place...
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Comments (402)
truerebel 1
Duh. If u don't have anything to hide, it shouldn't be a problem.
Raivyn_Grimm 9
Are you with the NSA?
madgrinchhatter 12
Lol
insomniac8400 13
What do you expect? Denying consent to a search only takes away the cops right to search you then and there- if he really wants to search you, the next step is to cuff you and take you to the station and get you a lawyer
Raivyn_Grimm 9
Actually, my last comment was unneccessary. I think the NSA has been commenting throughout the whol comment section on this one.
JCal585 8
If you have nothing to hide, why not consent? The best way to keep yourself out of trouble is to cooperate with the police. They will always win if you don't. And if you have something to hide, if the cop has probable cause to search your vehicle, he's going to find it. And if you have something to hide, I would be willing to bet that the police officer has probable cause. So just tell him what you have and make his job easier- he or she is just trying to make a living.
loganberrybat 11
It means that in normal person speak too. If you've nothing to hide why refuse?
ty4nier 16
You know they have to do that if they feel a legitimate reason to search right? It's not you being difficult you're invoking your constitutional right and he's just following protocol.
bhfriday 9
what a bitch
AntiSocialKitten 21
Most states have a standing law about that. It's that if you are the driver of any vehicle you get into you automatically consent to random stops and searches. It's a ridiculous law and they abuse that.
anon385 23
If a cop wants to search you, let them. What, did you have drugs on you? If you say that you don't want to be searched it's highly suspicious