Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Enjoy the sirens
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
Grooming tips
Today, after two months of having a bird, she finally trusts me enough to perch on and even preen me. Unfortunately, it seems she thinks my freckles are lice and she's made it her mission to bite them off. FML
Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
What did you say?
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
MORE! MORE!
Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Top comments
XCrazyMofo2010X 17
Get them separate cages or a cage with a bottom and top level that one only has access to.
JeWbOy101 11
That's quite a predicament you see your self in..
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Comments (128)
JeWbOy101 11
That's quite a predicament you see your self in..
chevygirl23 17
Not really, he could move the parakeets to different rooms
buckeyed 20
41, I think you need to reflect on 1's comment.
TcheQ 12
They were trying to be funny, but weren't
michaelaranda 28
it isn't, op, get another cage, Its worth it.
184886837272837 32
It's probably better to have that mirror out of there OP. Birds can tend to bond with the "mirror bird" instead of you or your other birds. Meaning that they'll isolate themselves and won't be as social which is too bad because birds are great pets
jazzy_123 20
1, yeah one of them seems to have a low self esteem.
incoherentrmblr 22
Bird = or > Word...
XCrazyMofo2010X 17
Get them separate cages or a cage with a bottom and top level that one only has access to.
Gittoh 21
how would that even work? I imagine a bird with one of those cat collars with a chip in it that matches the cat-door
spidey_awesome 14
I was thinking the same thing #2
dutch_girl13 20
I would get two separate cages. But make sure that the mirror hating one can't see the mirror in the other's cage
sehrgutmann 19
Genius!
Gittoh 21
they are very social, so that would be mean :(
brinnablaine 22
Not really.A separated cage could allow them to spend time apart, yet still see and "talk" to each other through the partition. However, parakeets are pretty adaptive. Its easy enough to keep trying out new toys till you find one that makes them both happy. Turning on the radio helps too. Mine LOVE music.
camsterjoe 12
You can win, stick the bird in a 360° soundproof mirror cage.
TheBrochure 22
This is a marvelous idea. Please allow me to add a few other plausible solutions, just so OP knows his or her scope of options. 1. Blind the insecure parakeet. 2. Spend your life savings on researching and developing a tiny personal mirror helmet, similar to those which avid bicyclists use, for the parakeet that likes the reflection. 3. Hire a vampire to bite the new parakeet, so that when she turns, she will have no reflection to screech about.
tailyerd 17
Why not just have a vampire bite the new parakeet? Viola problem solved instead of spending your lifes savings and spending all that time on research.
TheBrochure 22
#34 - I believe he is still chilling in high school somewhere on the Olympic Peninsula of Northwest Washington. #44 - Did I mention that the cost to commission a vampire these days, once you factor in hidden fees, current inflation, and necessary insurance is about the same in cost as the average individual's life savings? Don't ask me how I know-it's not as though the voice of experience is speaking or anything... *sobs discreetly*
TcheQ 12
Viola=musical instrument
RedPillSucks 33
Maybe the parakeet plays the viola
Rainhawk94 27
#34 he said a vampire not tinker bell
nightowl713 25
Maybe put the mirror inside some sort of open box with a landing limb so the one that likes it can go inside to see itself and the other doesn't have to see it? FYL INDEED.
TheLadyOpal 30
Maybe try moving the mirrorphobe to another cage?
ATOMIX_fml 9
Place them in separate cages. That'll help.
Somefruits 24
I would actually recommend removing the mirror since budgies can get attached to the budgie in the mirror and think it's another real bird when it isn't. It can cause a lot of problems so it's never a good idea to leave a bird alone with a mirror. Your bird will be upset for a while, not because he is vain but because he will think you've just taken away his mate. Since you have another bird in the cage with him, he will get over it a little faster. Try removing it when they're out of their cage so he won't notice as quickly. I hope this helps. Poor little guy; it'll be tough for him, but hopefully he'll become friends with your other parakeet (are they budgies or another type of parakeet?). Good luck!
RenoTheRhino 30
Get them different cages.
pugphone 7
split the two. put the mirror with the one and the other one without it. Those sons of bitches need their shit done.
imhope 23
You could always just get rid of one. Sell it maybe??
PianoVibes 6
the hell ?
ImAFaker 29
Snap both of their necks and feed it to stray cats? Oh I'm sorry, I thought we were thinking up terrible ideas.
CrazyMelvin 14
Put them in separate rooms