Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my parrot learned how to imitate my baby's crying. Now, every time the baby cries, the parrot joins in, and it sounds like a chorus of screaming. FML
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
Today, after two months of having a bird, she finally trusts me enough to perch on and even preen me. Unfortunately, it seems she thinks my freckles are lice and she's made it her mission to bite them off. FML
Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Today, around 12 a.m., my pet parrot said a sentence I've never heard him say before. Usually this would be exciting, but considering he said, 'I killed the bird', and that one of my two love birds mysteriously died a few days ago, it's safe to say I'm now terrified. FML
Today, I found out my ten year-old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML
Today, I introduced my parrot to oranges. Now she makes a high pitched scream if I don't give her any, and I've just run out of oranges. FML
Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
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Top comments
XCrazyMofo2010X 17
Get them separate cages or a cage with a bottom and top level that one only has access to.
JeWbOy101 11
That's quite a predicament you see your self in..
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Comments (128)
vip3r20 8
Get rid of the bird. They're only 20$ at the store.
Chris9616 12
separate the cages. put a mirror in one and take it out the other...problem solved...
Callilah 13
Get another cage. BAM! I solved it...who needs Sherlock when you've got me?!:)
CLT_420 13
Get two cages
KR12T3N 15
Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all?
awilliams44 9
separate cages possibly.?
mderaita 7
You should just take the mirror out and let the other bird get over it because personally I am scared of mirrors and I would be in hell if I couldn't get away from a mirror. Don't torture the terrified birdie :(
darcislove 18
seperate them then. give mirror to the one and no mirror to the other. problem solved
cbc0120 1
Just put them in different rooms. Haha
TheBrochure 22
If I had even a penny for every "separate cages" comment on this FML, I would be a very successful orchestrator of a substanceless pyramid scheme.