Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML
Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML
Today, a pigeon flew into my apartment through an open window. I tried for 20 minutes to guide it back outside. It eventually left on its own, then immediately flew back in through the window again. FML
Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML
Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML
Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML
Today, it's 1 a.m. and once again a freaking bird has flew into my house from the attic. My cats are of course all crazy right now as it sits in my room, in a high corner beyond reach. My children are sleeping and I have no way to let it outside from where it is right now. Oh and it's freezing outside. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
jSOPURE 3
No freaking way... Let me guess what's for dinner. :)
KenMcGormick 0
Today, I just gotten from a pet shop to my new owner's house. They decided that I should be let flying around the house. They forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
jSOPURE 3
No freaking way... Let me guess what's for dinner. :)
BlueJeans2626 0
oh my god!!! :o
fishsmash 0
HAHAHAHAHA
SouthSideGummi 0
for once I actually "Loled"
QuantumLegend 0
"laugh out louded"? :)
karleighpaige 4
lmao
ArentICute 0
Op, you birdbrain!
marisaichiban 0
It's still not a good idea to let them fly around the house like that. As much as it would be nice to give them the freedom, accidents happen. Next time, try getting the wings clipped and teach kids proper bird handling :)
SugarSpunSister 8
Wing clipping is the cruelest thing ever, even more cruel than keeping birds as pets. Shame on you all. And I'm not even a member of PETA.
Djosef_fml 0
You can actually make your house -or more likely a room in your house- ''bird-safe'' if you plan to let one fly around. That requires preparation, but obviously OP didn't read much before adopting the pet, which unfortunatly often result in bad owners abusing/killing a pet they were not ready to truly take care of. Petshops are sooo not the place to decide you're buying a parrot : They make cash by selling them. OP made the shop owner really happy. He's obviously rushing to buy another parrot like a morron because the kids are sad. But it's ok, right? You're learning! One dead parrot at the time! [/sarcasm] Screw you OP. Buy a book, learn from it, have a long talk with family, take notes, and then reconsider. Ceiling fans, windows, non-covered toilets, toxic plants, ovens, etc, etc... are really big dangers. Nervous birds also tend to fly anywhere like morrons (a word that also suits you, OP), and if they don't fly often, they will land/crash anywhere out of confusion and because they get tired very fast. Cliping a bird's wings is cruel in my opinion, but I understand why many owners decide to clip. As #37 wrote, cliping once for the trip home and acclimation is good. #27 is full of win. OP was doing a HORRIBLE job at welcoming the bird home. It's clear that OP didn't get any decent info before buying his victim.
mackenzie2323 5
Clipping a birds wings is actually the safest thing to do, it's just like cutting a dogs hair, it keeps them from flying and just like in this FML, from hurting themselves, the feathers grow back, it's nothing perment. I have a goffin cockatoo and she likes when her wings are clipped, because then she gets out more often and can go outside with me
14MEDIC14 0
WOOT KICK ASS POST!!!!!! I own six parakeets. Bubbles, lime, kiwi (the men); and melon, aqua, and berries (the ladies). If I ever met the OP, someone soo stupid to not take every precaution known to man to care for their new family member I'd kick their ass.
ballesteros1992 0
proper bird handling is not getting them into a cage. if you like birds then get a pair of binoculars.
CassieBoo143 12
party pooper
sterlingbaker 8
Stupid person, birds have wings for a reason. Maybe not for flying around the house but for flying. If you can't handle it, you shouldn't get a bird
crudeandrudeguy 29
@77- OH SWEET IRONY MORON****
TheSacredRatty 18
Why the **** are their dislikes? How many of you actually own a bird?
TheSacredRatty 18
Idiot. How else do you contain them? They will hurt themselves if they’re free to roam.
marisaichiban 0
If you get another bird, that is.
kathrynmarie 0
WOW. Just.... wow. I can't even decide how to rate this. Poor bird.
formosababie 0
chances are your parakeet flipped out and just kept blindly crashing into walls and windows. they scare easy, especially if you just got it. definitely clip its wings and train it to be comfortable around people. ...if it survived the ceiling fan...
chibihotaru 0
You deserve it.. It's the parakeet's FML.
KenMcGormick 0
Today, I just gotten from a pet shop to my new owner's house. They decided that I should be let flying around the house. They forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
ghost303 3
today I had just sold a parakeet to a random who took it home and let it fly around the house. they forgot to turn off the ceiling fan
zanathegirl 6
then how can you write this FML? :)
meanbeech 0
bye bye birdy.. why would you be stupid enough to let aq bird fly round your house anyway.. ******** all over the place... its not only wild birds that do it?
Sombrerohead 0
I like this comment. "Bye Bye Birdie" was a great musical :) was that a coincidence? sorry about the parakeet though. :(
shalvius 3
looool buy cat next time #7 :D :D :D
Amkii 0
You'd think that if this post were real, the author would be grieving over the loss of a pet and innocent animal... but no, instead (s)he writes a FML story. I doubt this is real. If it is, please NEVER get another pet. Clearly you're oblivious when it comes to pet ownership, and you should be highly ashamed of yourself and feeling remorse, which I doubt you are. You killed an innocent animal. I hope that is enough grief to make you reconsider any further pets. I hope karma gets you back one day.