Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend why my new package of condoms was open. When she failed to change the subject, she responded with, “This is why you’re a depressive crybaby who’ll die alone!” The fight ended with me proposing. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML
Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML
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Top comments
bushyyboy 11
Don't ask if you can't handle the truth there big guy?
Amama_fml 30
Don't you mean Little Guy?
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Comments (93)
U_GotitDude 18
Don't ask don't tell
Doomtrack 8
If you are concerned about being too small, learn how to use your hands and mouth, if you learn how to use them she will not care about your size, most likely she will want to do things for you in return.
dectivebobby 6
The truth hurts op :)
K_kanaka 26
OP remember this size won't matter in the bed. It's the motion in the ocean
JanisEvans 10
Size does matter. One can make up for some of it with skill. But there's a limit to this.
hazardmuffin 21
Jokingly because you know you don't...?
kittycat2007 18
well, if you have to ask.....
misspennycakes 7
You might just have an average size... in any case does it matter???
Leslier_fml 4
You asked...
onorexveritas 24
I hate being asked that question, seriously or "not"
itsgen 16
You damn well know that you weren't "joking" That was a serious question, just needed an excuse on how/why to ask